Yearly Archives: 2009

Magneta Lane and my Cousin Darren

There’s been a smattering of good music lately, but this is the song that haunts me; Love and Greed by Magneta Lane. I added it to my collection on the 12th of October, and it’s already in my Top 20 Most Played. By no means is it the best song on the album; it’s just the one that hit me the hardest.

To hear it as a track by itself is a little out of context. It comes as 7 of 10 off Gambling With God, their latest album, and the songs leading up to it charge at a much faster pace. The dramatic change of tone between the verses and the chorus are effective in subtly drawing you in, against lyrics that should be screamed more than anything else.

My favourite part is when Lexi says, “I don’t want recycled love / if I did I’d pour wine in a cup / and get all liquored up / and fucking crawl in front of you” when the guitar and bass stop, and it’s just Nadia doing the bum-ba-da-bum-ba-da-bum-ba-da-bum underneath on her toms.

With the way she says fucking with such saccharine softness, one can’t help but wonder what intense sorrow could have caused this sullen, honeyed voice to spit such profanity.

It’s stuff like this that makes rather plain looking Lexi Valentine so goddam attractive, very much in a Karen O kind of way. I guess you could say I have a fascination with Lexi swearing, because she does it so infrequently.


I gave this song to Darren, and he sent me back this reply:

shit this song is on auto-repeat right now…. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Darren’s the only person in the world who sees love the way I do. ____ knows me in every other way — logic, mindset, emotion, personality, habits, taste — but he doesn’t understand my love, which is a big part of me. The only one who understands is Darren1 because we share the same quixotic ideas about it. It’s as if we developed this romantic attitude as a backlash to how our fathers (brothers, who also look the same) raised us with such aloofness. This ideal is how we bond.

One time he told me he can’t wait for the day when we’re at his house with our girlfriends, and we’re playing Cranium, and we’re just…happy.

This is how I know he’s the only person who hears this song the same way too.

  1. Not even my girlfriends have come close to understanding, aside from Bronwen. []

29 1/12: The Adolescent

A little while ago, I stopped shaving. I had the flu for about five days, and already had a five-day shadow developed when that began. Then with a lack of social engagements, I decided to let it keep growing, lest I lose such a generous head start that only began because I was too lazy when I was sick.

I took this picture, and it was more than three weeks without touching a razor at that point.

Self portrait at 29 1/12


Aaron always keeps a neatly trimmed beard, so I asked him how he takes care of it; which direction to shave, what length to start trimming, etc. It was strange to be seeking shaving advice from someone at this point in my life. Most of the hair is around the mouth and on chin, with only an embarrassing half-dozen wires sprouting randomly from my cheeks, so it required a touch of maintenance.

For a long time, I didn’t know what to think of it, whether I liked it or not. Aaron said to me, “Sometimes, you don’t need to know”, and I went with that for a while. Maybe time would give me an answer.

Soon after, I started shaving again. It wasn’t getting any thicker, and I didn’t think I could pull it off.

I turn 30 in 11 months, and I still can’t grow a beard.

The Turning 30 Series

House Show 2009

The house show (announced earlier this year) was a huge success. I moved a bunch of furniture around in the living room and transformed it from this:

Venue before

To this:

Venue after

There were almost 30 people crammed into my living room for a night of intimate music and an ice cream bar1 (on which I spent nearly $100, including all the fixins). Admittedly, I got a little overstimulated and panicky somewhere in the middle, due to all people, but Pat and Jen came and talked to me, and they calmed me down. It also got really hot with all the people in there, so I cranked up the A/C a few hours ahead of time.

Arne, who goes by the stage name Duryea Hawkins and was Shane’s surprise guest musician, completely blew everyone away with his opening number, named Snowman. At the end of the song, you can hear Dan say, “Wow“. It’s so good, I have it on constant repeat at the moment.

Once again, Shane dedicated a song to me (woo!), my favourite of course, It’s A Drag. He also did a few new songs I had never heard before; one of the best parts of concerts is being able to hear new material that a musician is working on.

And for the first time, I got to see Jesse rap in person. He was going to do an all acoustic show, with several exotic instruments, but then Nick (who does the backing vocals/beats and goes by the stage name Rockefort F. Loopfrog) bought a loop machine, so they decided to use that instead. Quite different from the studio produced sounds that I’m used to hearing from Jesse, but just as good.

The artists all went home happy with the money that was donated2 and made from the swag they sold.

Since it was my first house show, I really wanted to enjoy it instead of fussing with getting the proper shot, so I set up my camera and left it on in the corner. Next time, I’m going to do a bit more camera work.

  1. This must have been a fairly memorable part, because people like Jess called it the Ice Cream Party instead of the House Show. []
  2. Legally, as the venue, I’m not allowed to make money, so I have accept “donations” as a cover charge. []

Relationship Drama

Whenever I’m catching up with my married friends, it feels like I’m the only one talking. I felt really self-centered, until I realized I’m the only one with any updates. Aside from some construction or new furniture, they don’t have any news, much less, drama.

I wonder if I’ll ever be settled like them. If my life will ever be drama-free, without all the instability in my relationships, both good and bad.