Monthly Archives: December 2008

A Significant Year

I generally loathe such arbitrary measures of time, but the fact of the matter remains that there were some fairly important things that happened in my life within the last 365.

I had my first art gallery exhibition. So far, I’ve sold 12 pieces, which I’m ecstatic about. I’ve also since become good friends with the gallery owners, Frédéric and Misun.

I started — and finishedpyschoanalytic therapy. After my crippling panic attack exactly one year ago, I was encouraged to seek some help, and this therapy ended up going much, much deeper. I wasn’t scared in my relationships because I didn’t realize how much baggage I had. But now I know.

I got my second tattoo. This significant thing about this is that it’s probably my last tattoo. After the first one, I finally feel complete (and symmetrical).

I got a car. And I’m loving the freedom. After buying my house and being gainfully employed, a car was the only thing left. This means I can buy large items, I don’t have to depend on friends to get me places inaccessible by bus, I can go home from parties when I want, and awesome road trips out of town.

I kissed her and she kissed me back. Sometimes, there’s nothing more important than having the right girl kiss you the right way.

I released version 10.0. This was by far the most popular design of my site, being featured at places like Perishable Press’s Web Design Showcase and at the top of Crestock’s 13 Minimalist Blog Designs You Really Should See. Unfortunately, this also meant I higher profile, and more attempts by people to copy it.

I went through a course of Isotretinoin. This effectively ended my acne, which became a pretty big problem in the last year. It’s a wonderful feeling to wake up and not have to worry about what my face was going to look like.

I got this letter from a reader. I receive many letters and comments, which I greatly appreciate, but this one really stuck out because something that I created had affected someone in an intensely positive way. I hope to be able to do this again some day.

The Return of Water

Well, I have water. And hot water too. I’ve been doing loads of laundry and dishes in the dishwasher. Not to mention sweet, sweet BMs on a toilet.

Bathroom ceiling

Bedroom ceiling

But my bathroom and bedroom ceilings still look like this. Not to mention the coarse dust on everything and the uprooted furniture. I had several entries with pictures to post, but my colour-calibrated monitors are sitting in the spare room. I have no idea when the contractor is going to be back to get everything dirty again. Otherwise, I’d do some cleaning.

Either the construction company is on holiday (which contradicts what the worker said), or they’re dodging me, because I haven’t been able to get a hold of anyone for days now. I’m stuck in limbo here, literally living in the living room (what a fitting name). It’s left me rather sick and unmotivated.

Pull Over

When it’s 2:30 in the morning and there are no other cars on the road, I try to time my speed with the red lights so that I never have to come to a complete stop. On approaching an intersection less than a kilometer from home yesterday, I successfully did so, and started accelerating again when the light turned green.

Then I noticed a police car driving in the opposite direction do a U-turn and start tailing me. In my head, I’m hoping he pulls me over. I’m in no rush to be anywhere, I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, and I want some justification for every time I’ve driven fumbled for my wallet in the dark before driving her home in my pajamas, on the off-chance that this may happen. Besides, I’d never been pulled over before, I want to know what to expect.

After a moment, his lights go on.

Continue reading “Pull Over”…

Holiday Hell

Nightmare. The word almost everyone has been using to describe this hot water situation. From my friends and coworkers, to the plumbing technicians, to the sales reps, to the contractors.

When the contractor came over to make holes in my ceiling, he brushed against a pipe that went to the hot water tank, and since it was almost rusted completely through, it snapped and started leaking. Water shoots out of the hole any time I turn the water on, so I’ve had to shut off the main valve. Now I have no water. I can’t wash my hands, I can’t go to the bathroom.

The exhaust pipe that goes to my furnace isn’t up to code anymore either, so even if I get all this work done on the house, my ceiling would have to be ripped up again when the furnace goes. And since mine is 12-years-old and rated for 15 years, it could die on me as soon as three years (or sooner). So I’ll be getting the furnace pipe replaced too, which essentially doubles my pipe installation costs.

In addition to moving as much furniture out of my room as possible into my guest room (thereby robbing me of my photo studio, Tai Chi practice area, bedroom, and main computer), I’ll have to cover the remaining things in sheets to protect them from the dust. When the piping is all replaced1, the contractor needs to come in and patch up the holes, scrape all the stipple off my ceiling, respray the stipple on, and repaint it. I don’t even have an estimate of how much that’s going to cost.

The house is my one area of stability. Where I retreat to when everything else is falling apart. The one place I need to be constant. I won’t feel settled until it’s all been resolved.

And to think that I was looking forward to the holidays. I was picturing myself enjoying my well-earned time off, eating bacon and eggs, playing a few games, and starting some new projects.

How far away the image seems now.

  1. And with luck, they won’t refuse to do the job because they don’t have enough clearance. []

Life Is Pain

Hand spot

Sometimes, you stab yourself in the hand with a point, but it’s not sharp enough to break the skin.

Sometimes, the blood comes to the surface, and this is as much of yourself as you can show the world.

Sometimes, the pavement is covered in snow outside, and you can drive over 100kph in one spot before the traction kicks in.

Sometimes, you scare yourself with your recklessness.

Sometimes, you realize that life is pain.

Sometimes, you have nothing left but numbness and resolve.