I spent the last few days converting the guest room1 to my new office, after giving it two coats of The Plaza and moving my computer out of the bedroom. This decision was spurred by the fact that I found myself spending an unhealthy amount of time in a single room of the house, the exceptions being when I was eating or pooping. Now my work area is delightfully bright, and I have a view of the summer foliage out of the front of the house.
With half the furniture now moved out, the master bedroom looks especially minimal. I’m keeping some of my photography lighting in there, including a large softbox, which is a decoration that fills the room nicely but also makes it look like a cheap porn set.
I used to be trepidatious about certain things, like committing to a paint colour or walking into a room with large numbers of people, but now I find it a lot easier to get over my anxiety. It makes me think my anxiety used to affect me more than I realized. Doing things that were out of my comfort zone was a test I needed to give myself every now and then, but now I don’t find those things to be uncomfortable at all, and I tend to act without thinking too much or overanalyzing.
I wonder if this is what normal feels like. And how much of it is personal growth versus the medication.
In either case, it’s nice to be getting thing done again, when I had so recently found it hard just getting out of bed. Someone related to me his experience on pharmaceutical psychotropics, and he said the period was marked less by what he wrote or created, and more by what he did or people he met and connected with. For me, it seems to be manifesting itself as a period of change and productivity.