Posts tagged with "sadness"

Tears as a Turn-On

It became painful­ly obvi­ous that my turn-on of girls cry­ing is relat­ed to my own pen­chant for sad love­mak­ing.

I’ve always liked the idea of bring­ing some­one from tears to bliss­ful phys­i­cal plea­sure. Like make-up sex with­out the fight­ing.

A girl was able to do that for me once, so I’ve always want­ed to be able to do it for some­one else.

Either that, or my sad­ness is min­gling with my lust.

The Choice

I’m in a bad way

My sleep­ing sched­ule is upside down. I’m lovesick. I’m heart­bro­ken. I can’t eat any­thing with­out shit­ting blood. My lips are chapped. My teeth keep graz­ing my canker sore. I’m break­ing out. I’m dread­ing anoth­er day of work.

These are the times I tru­ly feel alone. I’ve nev­er been very good at tak­ing care of myself.

But I’d still rather be alone, than be with you.

Still Human

Crank it. Loud, and maybe you’ll under­stand how I feel.

I’ve been in such a slump the last week. Maybe I’m over-worked, over-tired, and over-stressed. Things haven’t been going my way.

It’s filled me with such frus­tra­tion, sad­ness, and anger.

Now I’m left to face the ugly world alone, and all I can think is to nev­er put your trust in some­one. Never be depen­dent, nev­er expect any­thing from any­one because you’ll only get hurt.

Pick your­self up, cause no one’s going to help you.

I try to ratio­nal­ize every­thing and fol­low the Tao, but I can’t. Everything is so over­whelm­ing.

As much as I’ve learned, as much wis­dom as I’ve gained, as far as I’ve come, I’m still human.

Stew

It’s rare that some­thing will make me feel for­lorn nowa­days, but every so often, some­thing will set me off. I love to stew in those emo­tions, to appre­ci­ate them when I do feel them. Some songs sound total­ly dif­fer­ent, like Battlecry by Grace Like Winter, but there’s noth­ing like hear­ing the open­ing bars of Oddity by Coal Chamber. A song that makes the skin feel like it’s peel­ing off, that must be loud enough to burn the tym­pan­ic mem­brane. It’s like the body melts, and every­thing fus­es togeth­er.

Eventually, every­thing goes away.