Lover/Dreamer

(+5 bonus points if you get the album ref­er­ence.)

Thumbnail: Heart in the window

I real­ly do have love to give! I just don’t know where to put it!

—Quiz Kid Donnie Smith, Magnolia

Okay, I’ll admit it.

I need to love. I need it, the way I need to eat.

This is the same part of me that notices the faint out­lines of hearts drawn in car win­dows. Also, the same part that mar­vels about that ado­les­cent point in life, when one would draw some­thing so sim­ple and insignif­i­cant because the only wor­ry was whether or not some­one liked you back.

So when I don’t have some­one to love, it fuck­ing kills me.

Images

This week I’ve been see­ing images when I wake up in the mid­dle of the night. Usually in the form of slow, flesh rip­ping decap­i­ta­tion, or bul­lets enter­ing non-vital parts of my body, like my arms. Not of self-muti­la­tion but muti­la­tion of the self. These images, in some form or anoth­er, have fol­lowed me my whole life, and went away after I start­ed ther­a­py1. Now they’re back.

There’s been a new one late­ly though.

I have a one-inch thick, two meter pole through the heart, stick­ing out per­pen­dic­u­lar­ly to my body in both direc­tions even­ly. My heart and lungs have grown and healed around this pole, and even a gen­tle impact on either end, due to the mechan­i­cal-force mul­ti­ply­ing nature of the ful­crum that is my heart, could dis­rupt my organs and kill me.

So as I’m try­ing to fall asleep again, I see myself going about any reg­u­lar day, stum­bling around with this unwieldy pole, hop­ing I don’t trip, and no one bumps into it.

  1. Or per­haps, co-inci­den­tal­ly from something/someone else. [↩]

On Trying Earwax-Flavoured Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

  • Amy: Gross! How would you even know what ear­wax tastes like?
  • Me: Haven’t you ever French kissed some­one’s ear?
  • Amy, with a look of dis­gust on her face: No.
  • Brain: Hmmmmmmmm. Uh oh?

Love Is Like Santa Claus

I had been wait­ing for the right one to come along my whole life. My mis­take was think­ing she was wait­ing for me too.

Art for Haiti

Thumbnail: Art relief

There’s a fundrais­er for Haitian earth­quake sur­vivors at the Cube Gallery hap­pen­ing in two weeks. An auc­tion will be held after the view­ing, and any mon­ey raised from the auc­tion will go to the Red Cross. I’ve donat­ed one of my favourite pho­tos, the very first print of “Carrot Feet” (to which I hold much sen­ti­men­tal attach­ment), to the cause. I’m also going to per­son­al­ly extend this to all oth­er prints from my Fruit and Body series, so if you pur­chase a print between now and the auc­tion, I’ll put 100% of the sale price towards the fundrais­er.

If you have art­work you’d like to donate, please con­tact me and I’ll get you in touch with the appro­pri­ate peo­ple. When peo­ple can walk away with amaz­ing art­work while help­ing those in need, it’s a win-win sit­u­a­tion. I’ll be attend­ing to meet the oth­er artists and hope­ful­ly pick some­thing up for myself if any art­work speaks to me.

From the Cube Gallery web­site:

Haitian Disaster Art Fundraiser

In light of the dis­as­ter that has befall­en the peo­ple of Haiti, Cube Gallery and AfrikArt Konnection, in col­lab­o­ra­tion with Paul Dewar, MP are call­ing Canadian artists to ral­ly togeth­er to assist in the efforts under­way to make the lives of Haitian sur­vivors bet­ter.

Event Date: February 9, 2010
Event Time: 6 pm view­ing; 8 pm auc­tion
Location: Cube Gallery, 7 Hamilton Ave. N.

Artwork view­ing: begins at 6pm
Fundraising Auction: 8pm

There will be a recep­tion, music, light foods and enter­tain­ment at Cube Gallery on Hamilton Ave. The event is host­ed by Oni the Haitian Sensation.