Music has always been a big part of my life, so it’s strange to consider the fact that I only seriously took up an instrument the year I’m turning 30, which I generally consider late to be starting anything new.
I used to play piano and flute, but that was never really my choice. For the former, it was more of my mom wanting me to be a good Chinese boy, and me not wanting to let her down. When it came to the latter, my school had a strong emphasis on arts, and either visual arts or music were mandatory. I chose music1, and played the flute; far from ideal for a teenager going through puberty and an identity crisis.
I bought my first ukulele a few months ago, and I don’t think I’ve stopped playing since.

Jammin’ in my jammies. With what may possibly be an erection.
Photo by Jess.
So much of my life has been filled by those four little strings. It’s an entirely new medium I’m still exploring, a muscle I’d yet to flex, a way of expressing myself that’s so unlike any of my other outlets.
I get pains in my fingers and wrists from playing too much, so I structure my life around the breaks; doing laundry, writing, cleaning my room, sorting my paperwork until the tingling or pinching goes away. The pads of my fingers are dead. I used to fall asleep thinking of her — now I work out scale patterns and chords across the fretboard in my head until I pass out. I even decided to make the ultimate commitment and grow out the nails on my strumming hand because the longer they get, the more pleased I am with the sound (and I find both long nails and asymmetry absolutely disgusting).
It’s come to the point where I’d rather play ukulele than play games, or go out, or talk to people. I love playing so much that I enjoy it even though I’m still no good at it.
I turn 30 in three months, and music is my hot hot bath, my dead end, and my girlfriend.
The Turning 30 Series
- 29: The Child
- 29 1/12: The Adolescent
- 29 2/12: The Lachrymologist
- 29 3/12: The Once Loved
- 29 4/12: The Mask
- 29 5/12: The Uncarved
- 29 6/12: The Arrival
- 29 7/12: The Taoist
- 29 8/12: The Son
- 29 9/12: The Rocker
- 29 10/12: The Deadline
- Ironic that I’m so much more of a visual artist now. [↩]