Monthly Archives: September 2007

Yo-Yo Tuesdays and Thursdays

It’s the same thing every Tuesday and Thursday.

I get home from work. I have some yogurt. I power nap. I wake up. I eat some fruit. I take the bus to my Tai Chi class.

I’m more productive on the bus than at home. It forces me to sit, and removes me of all distractions.

Some days I like to zone out. I listen to music and let my mind wander. Lately though, I’ve been reading, to whittle down my list of purchased-but-not-finished books:

  • Beautiful Losers* by Leonard Cohen
  • Mao: The Unknown Story* by Jung Chang and Jon Halliday
  • The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff
  • Tai Chi Chuan: The Martial Side* by Michael Babin
  • Power Taiji by Michael Babin
  • Yang-Style Tai Chi by Michael Babin
  • The Taoist I Ching translated by Thomas Cleary
  • The Tao* by Mark Forstater

Note: Those marked with an asterisk are ones I’ve begun reading.

The one I’m focusing on now is the Mao book (which is a tome that breaks my back when I carry it in a shoulder bag) because I’m near the end of his life and it’s getting so good and so juicy. Nearly 10 months after Bronwen’s parents gave it to me last Christmas, I’m almost finished.

And I get so depressed when I read it because it’s filled with stories of such tragedy, cruelty, and misfortune. Mao proves to be such a monster, with over 70 million people dead from starvation, suicide, or torture, that it fills me with an almost infinite sadness.

Then I get to my Tai Chi class, and it’s so small and intimate, with such a great group of people, that I feel enlightened. It’s such a beautiful, tangible expression of my beliefs. My classmates are all generous, unpretentious people. The contact when I’m pushing hands, uprooting, force-deflecting — the only physical contact I have in the week now — charges me, and stave’s the loneliness for another day.

When class is over, I get back on the bus and read more about Mao, and hurt again.

I come home around quarter to ten and cook dinner and eat and write a bit and get to sleep way too late.

It’s an emotional roller coaster I go through twice a week.

An Evening with Krista and Shane

Thumbnail: Krista Muir and Shane Watt perform together wide

As predicted, I left my house feeling nervous and excited, and put on my Top Rated playlist to distract myself. The music of Lederhosen Lucil has never touched me on a deeply intimate level, the way, say, a Leonard Cohen or Thrice song does, but it’s still remained very personal. I discovered L.L. at a time when I was feeling rather jaded from life. The music was silly, fun, and confident, so I embraced it with delightful hedonism. It lifted me when I was in a strange state of numbness and limbo.

Thumbnail: Krista Muir and Shane Watt get ready to perform 
Thumbnail: Shane's North Korean guitar 
Thumbnail: Lederhosen Lucil swag 

I got there at what turned out to be an hour and a half early (though it was due to a mistake on the venue website), so I wandered the store until the show started, feeling like a fish out of water in a tiny room filled with handmade women’s clothing and jewelery. Though beautiful and impressively unique, they wouldn’t let me take pictures of anything1.

As soon as I saw Krista alone, I began to hyperventilate, which was rather unexpected (I’m still getting over how hilariously embarrassing this was). I approached her and managed to spit out “Hi” in a whisper. I didn’t know what to say, so I just asked her to sign my CD (still whispering, unable to control the volume of my voice). I’m sure I’ll appreciate such a reaction in a couple years, as not many people can cause me to be so flustered2.

Continue reading “An Evening with Krista and Shane”…

  1. I’m guessing to protect the designs of the artists []
  2. Perhaps it was the strange feeling that Krista, who was now suddenly in front of me, had so unwittingly affected me, without ever even being aware of my existence. Or perhaps I was intimidated. I like to consider myself a creative person, but by no means a professional, earning a living off my creativity. Krista is, however, a born entertainer. []

Empty Nights, Waiting for a Realization

I’ve done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication

—Tool, Schism

I suppose I feel it most when you’re not around. Empty nights, when it’s been another day without contact.

Part of me misses talking to you, but part of me doesn’t feel like it just yet. It’s a contradiction I can’t explain. Not that it matters anyway.

You’re not stubborn. You’re not lazy.

You just don’t get it.

Lederhosen Lucil is Coming to Town


I just found out that Krista Muir, who’s alter-ego Lederhosen Lucil I fell in love with two years ago, is playing in a small studio in town on Friday. Entrance donation is $5. As much as I want to go to hear her new album (released today, featuring ukuleles over Yamaha synthesizers), my main reason would be to get some pictures of her. I never get a chance to do concert photography, and she has a playful personality with the costumes she wears.

I’ll probably bring my 15mm and 24–70mm lenses, and be shooting at f/2.8 and 1600 ISO the whole time. I would consider my 50mm f/1.8 prime just for that extra stop of light, but I lent it to Pat and primes are much less versatile in such situations.

Two years ago, I missed her only stop of her tour in this city, when I had to “coach” my team in ladder matches at the table tennis league. That made me a sad panda.

Just thinking about going is making my stomach flutter. I may go to movies by myself, but I never go to concerts alone. The noise and crowds of concerts make me especially uncomfortable (and overstimulated), but a friend always helps me get over it. Unfortunately, no one else I know enjoys her music (which I would describe as fairly esoteric), and I wouldn’t put someone through music they didn’t enjoy. Added to this, I’ll be taking pictures, which always makes me feel very self-conscious.

Normally, I take a few weeks to mentally prepare myself for something like this, but since it’s such short notice and the opportunity doesn’t come around often, I’m forcing myself to go.

I’m scared, and nervous, and excited all at once.

Edit: I just noticed that my “similar terms” custom field, which automatically enters keywords from the entry to match words in the database and pull “related entries” on the left, includes the word “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”. Hilarity.

You Caught Me Dancing

I always listen to music when I’m in the bathroom, and I always dance when I’m alone.

Except you were in my room, looking in, and I was brushing my teeth to the beat. I don’t even remember the song, I just know that it moved me, manipulating my joints and twitching my bones like a marionette. Shoulders, hips, legs co-ordinated like a shameless drunk.

You asked. I denied.

And if you mentioned it now, I still wouldn’t admit it.