Yo-Yo Tuesdays and Thursdays

It’s the same thing every Tuesday and Thursday.

I get home from work. I have some yogurt. I pow­er nap. I wake up. I eat some fruit. I take the bus to my Tai Chi class.

I’m more pro­duc­tive on the bus than at home. It forces me to sit, and removes me of all dis­trac­tions.

Some days I like to zone out. I lis­ten to music and let my mind wan­der. Lately though, I’ve been read­ing, to whit­tle down my list of pur­chased-but-not-fin­ished books:

  • Beautiful Losers* by Leonard Cohen
  • Mao: The Unknown Story* by Jung Chang and Jon Halliday
  • The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff
  • Tai Chi Chuan: The Martial Side* by Michael Babin
  • Power Taiji by Michael Babin
  • Yang-Style Tai Chi by Michael Babin
  • The Taoist I Ching trans­lat­ed by Thomas Cleary
  • The Tao* by Mark Forstater

Note: Those marked with an aster­isk are ones I’ve begun read­ing.

The one I’m focus­ing on now is the Mao book (which is a tome that breaks my back when I car­ry it in a shoul­der bag) because I’m near the end of his life and it’s get­ting so good and so juicy. Nearly 10 months after Bronwen’s par­ents gave it to me last Christmas, I’m almost fin­ished.

And I get so depressed when I read it because it’s filled with sto­ries of such tragedy, cru­el­ty, and mis­for­tune. Mao proves to be such a mon­ster, with over 70 mil­lion peo­ple dead from star­va­tion, sui­cide, or tor­ture, that it fills me with an almost infi­nite sad­ness.

Then I get to my Tai Chi class, and it’s so small and inti­mate, with such a great group of peo­ple, that I feel enlight­ened. It’s such a beau­ti­ful, tan­gi­ble expres­sion of my beliefs. My class­mates are all gen­er­ous, unpre­ten­tious peo­ple. The con­tact when I’m push­ing hands, uproot­ing, force-deflect­ing — the only phys­i­cal con­tact I have in the week now — charges me, and stave’s the lone­li­ness for anoth­er day.

When class is over, I get back on the bus and read more about Mao, and hurt again.

I come home around quar­ter to ten and cook din­ner and eat and write a bit and get to sleep way too late.

It’s an emo­tion­al roller coast­er I go through twice a week.

6 comments

  1. I don’t like read­ing his­to­ry books for that rea­son, espe­cial­ly things that they don’t teach you in school. It’s gen­er­al­ly extreme­ly depress­ing and it makes you won­der how peo­ple can get away with such crimes. I’ve been want­i­ng to read the Rape of Nanking for awhile, but I don’t think I can bring myself to do it. It’s like ask­ing to be depressed and to lose faith in human­i­ty.

    Sounds like your Tai Chi class is fun though, my mom’s class was full of old ladies, some were nicer than oth­ers, but of course the not so nice ones are the vocal and annoy­ing ones that seem to want to get into every­one’s busi­ness.

  2. Oh btw, I had cere­al this morn­ing, and yes, it has a time bomb, must be eat­en quick­ly to avoid the mush.

  3. I’ve been curi­ous about the Rape of Nanking ever since I saw a pic­ture of a bunch of decap­i­tat­ed heads lined up from the war footage, but like you, it’s a some­what mor­bid curios­i­ty that I try not to enter­tain.

    My Tai Chi class is real­ly fun…I think I’m the youngest, but no one there is par­tic­u­lar­ly old. I also hap­pen to be the only Asian one, let alone the only Chinese one. I don’t think I could deal with a class full of old Chinese ladies. The cul­ture is very nosy.

    And is it just me, or do you find sug­ary milk at the end kin­da gross? Yet anoth­er rea­son to eat it as quick­ly as pos­si­ble before the cere­al melts.

  4. Yeah, the milk kind of makes me want to gag, and I also can’t drink warm milk which is anoth­er rea­son why I try to eat it as fast as pos­si­ble. Only time I liked the milk was when I ate count choc­u­la, mmm… choco­late milk :)

  5. You twit­ter, “Office cold. Nipples hard.” mm that gives a nice men­tal pic­ture but maybe you meant oth­er peo­ple’s.… ;)

  6. I was refer­ring to myself actu­al­ly. :D

Leave a Reply