Monthly Archives: December 2006

Meeting Tina

What can I say about Tina?

Fulcrum edi­tor. Dom lover. Farsi speak­er. Cadence Weapon lis­ten­er. Naughty girl dancer.

She’s cool. Certainly cool­er than me.

So when she asked if I want­ed to meet, it made me ner­vous. I’m not com­fort­able around cool peo­ple. I nev­er know how to act around them.

Tina has this laugh though, this girly, ebul­lient-but-not-annoy­ing laugh, that put me at ease. The way she express­es her­self betrays a sub­tle matu­ri­ty for her age. One of those peo­ple who knows what they want and where they’re going. Even with this matu­ri­ty, she retains a youth­ful fash­ion­abil­i­ty. She’s four years my junior but I nev­er felt like we lost each oth­er in con­ver­sa­tion, some­thing I find espe­cial­ly com­mon when talk­ing to peo­ple my age.

On the out­side we’re very dif­fer­ent. At our core, we have very sim­i­lar per­son­al­i­ties. Maybe this is why we got along so well.

Thumbnail: Tina laughs
Thumbnail: Tina jumps
Thumbnail: Tina runs

She oblig­ed me a few pho­tos so I could see if I could cap­ture her play­ful per­son­al­i­ty.

Thumbnail: Dolly attacks Tina
Thumbnail: Tina hugs dolly

It’s obvi­ous that she likes cats, and Dolly was no excep­tion. Normally, I take upwards of 200 snaps when I’m doing por­traits, but she was too dis­tract­ed by the cat rolling around on the floor between us for me to get more than 50.

Tina was the first per­son I’ve met through blog­ging from the Ottawa area. The next blog­ger I have to meet is Sikander. I think I saw him with Lunato walk­ing down Rideau once, but I was too shy at the time to intro­duce myself.

Letter To An Ex-Girlfriend: Christie

I can see the pain liv­ing in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have much more
I can feel your heart and I sym­pa­thize
And I’ll nev­er crit­i­cize
All you’ve ever meant to my life

I don’t want to let you down
I don’t want to lead you on
I don’t want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would nev­er ask me why
My heart is so dis­guised
I just can’t live a lie any­more
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s noth­ing left to say but good­bye

—Air Supply, Goodbye

Over four years ago, I start­ed this blog because of you. I felt like you nev­er under­stood me, so I need­ed a place where I could express myself with­out any inhi­bi­tions.

I had a lot of hope in you, being drawn to your youth and inno­cence. A lot of hope in us. I always thought you were like clay I could mold. Someone who would even­tu­al­ly com­plete me, but you nev­er changed or showed improve­ment.

It took me a long time to real­ize how wrong it was for me to do that. How wrong it was for me to want you to be a dif­fer­ent per­son.

I nev­er appre­ci­at­ed you for who you were, and you nev­er deserved any of it.

I hope I did­n’t hurt you. I heard from your broth­er that you’re already on your Masters degree. I hope he’s healthy and hap­py. I hope your par­ents are doing well, that your dad is retired and they’re trav­el­ling out east like they’ve always want­ed when you start­ed uni­ver­si­ty.

There are a lot of fond mem­o­ries of our time togeth­er. I won­der if you believed me when I said that I want­ed to mar­ry you. It was some­thing I hon­est­ly felt at the time, until things start­ed falling apart, and I went through one of my phas­es again. It was­n’t your fault.

I had to end it before I led you on any fur­ther.

The Letter To An Ex-Girlfriend series

  1. Introduction
  2. Ashley
  3. Michele
  4. Christie
  5. Jackie
  6. Louise
  7. Bronwen