Posts tagged with "presents"

not ready to stop

I take care of this moment by taking care of myself. That means nourishing my sense of well-being by spending time with people who:

  • connect with me on an intimate level
  • give me their full attention and command mine at the same time
  • understand and validate what I’m going through

Normally, the goal is to use the positive experiences from these relationships to buffer my emotional resilience when things get rough, but right now I’m just trying to get to the point most people consider normal.

It helps when people make me things like this. I had a Google search box as my browser start page for as long as I can remember, until presented with this board full of happiness, where every update is relevant to my interests. Tiana and Genevieve secretly collected cats for months before giving it to me just because, and somehow there were 91 followers before I even made a Pinterest account to follow this namesake board. These are people who truly understand me, and make me feel connected even when I’m not with them. This is what I need more of in my life.

sitting in a cafe

We’ll get there someday, cuz.

I’ve also been reaching into my past and searching for closure, whether that means giving or receiving forgiveness. It’s humbling to own up to my role in someone’s pain without making excuses or laying blame to protect my pride, but being able to do so has given me more amour de soi. Mistakes will be made on my journey, but it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person, and it won’t stop me from becoming better.

Seeking resolution doesn’t always end well though. I’m trying to understand each response as a message about the true nature of someone’s role in my life, without being caught up in anger. It’s so much easier to forgive or accept someone when I start to understand their reality, even if they’ve hurt me rather undeservingly. I finally feel like I’m getting a handle on my interactions with people, instead of constantly being at the whim of their behaviour.

dog by the door

It’s been a period of such tremendous growth in myself and development in my relationships that it feels like I’ve been given a reprieve. I’ve been working on all the little things I said I’d take care of when I was better, one day at a time. Just knowing that I’m improving in some small way is often enough to keep me going by itself.

I still occasionally get caught up on the idea that I need to be perfect before starting down a new path, but Lisa always reminds me that the person I am already isn’t so bad. Growing is a gradual and lifelong process. I can do the best with the person I am, and that’ll always be good enough.

thoughtful things

I’ve always believed the best gifts are things we would want but wouldn’t buy ourselves cause we couldn’t justify the purchase (regardless of how much it costs), or something handmade by the giver. Good gifts also happen just because, not necessarily due to a birthday or holiday. Lisa says this ideal makes me an intimidating gift-giver. ____ used to call me a professional consumer, cause I have a tendency to purchase what I want without hesitation, which I imagine makes me even harder to shop for.

Recently, people have been giving me awesome things for absolutely no reason at all, and each gift is thoughtful, practical, and just my taste. It must be really hard to find presents that will make me happy, but that just makes them all the more special when they do.

cat stuff

These were in my mailbox one night. The event was actually a strip-spelling competition, and Shawn won “best stripper”, the reward being the CD of cat purring. The other guy won the “best speller” award and got the book. They had to follow him out of the cafe and ask him for it, cause it was totally meant for me obviously. Shawn has said I’m a cat for as long as I’ve known him.

double wall mini tea cups

I had tea with Heather G in a cafe last winter, and we had a conversation about design and how satisfying it felt to hold these mini teacups. Somehow, she remembered and found them and bought me a set. They’re mouth-blown so each one is unique, and insulated by double-wall borosilicate glass.

book safe

Lisa got me this book safe, made out of an edition of Ernest Hemingway’s Selected Letters, for secrets big and small. The choice of what book to use in making a book safe is very important, as it has to blend in with a library collection, but also not be so recent or interesting as to make someone picking it up.

It has little magnets embedded in the frame and cover to make sure it stays closed even when stored vertical. This little detail was what swayed her decision to go with this particular crafter, and something you learn is very important if you ever try to keep your stash hidden from…uhhh…cats.

People Being Nice To Me

Tao Te Ching cover

Louise gave me a gorgeous copy of the Tao Te Ching. It’s translated by James Legge, with classic Chinese art from the Cleveland Museum of Art. What’s especially cool is that the fonts used for the titles is Avenir, which is the same font I used for my second Tao tattoo.

Tao Te Ching page 1

It’s perfect because I feel like I’ve strayed from the path lately. It’s been a few weeks since I picked up the book and read a few verses.

Tao Te Ching page 2

I really like the fact that many of the pages have no verses, and only artwork. It’s nice enough that I’ll probably keep it out on my coffee table, instead of in my bookshelf hidden in a closet1.

Bamboo bookmark

She also gave me this bamboo bookmark, with a Confucian saying on it. I find it funny because Confucianism opposes Taoism, though they both have very good ideas.

Continue reading “People Being Nice To Me”…

  1. Not that I don’t like to display books, I just prefer to keep a neat house. []

Feather Fountain Pen

Feather fountain pen

Pat and Jen bought me this feather fountain pen set from their honeymoon to Europe. It comes from an Italian sculpture store, Fabris Giuliana in Venice, Italy.

Feather fountain pen writing

The nib is super fine; I don’t think I’ve ever owned a fountain pen with such a small nib, which is perfect, because I tend to have small handwriting. You can’t even tell which direction the stroke is going. So far it writes a little rough and scratchy, but with enough use, the nib will break in to my writing style.

I’ve always enjoyed writing. Not just the concept of putting ideas into more a tangible medium, but the act of writing itself, whether it’s on a keyboard by night, or flowing lines on a sheet of paper.