Moments Like This

Sometimes, I feel like I’ve been waiting to capture moments like this my whole life.

Winter Transit Ride

By now, I’ll have spent twice as much time on this bus than in class.

Through the windows, the world is streaked and muddy, and it looks like god has turned on the lights outside, it’s so bright. These goosebumps aren’t from the cold. It’s the music, loud and full in the ears, that shivers.

The homeless ask for quarters with an apology for interrupting your music. It’s as if the cold has turned their bitterness to desperation, and we get a little politeness in return. No sign of my lost girl, just a man in her spot with too many bags, a frumpy hat, and two old paperbacks that he never opens.

My socks are soaked through at the ankles, and all I can think of is how good it’ll feel to peel them off and jump in the shower. Or how good my wonton soup will taste when I eventually get home. Or how convenient it’ll be to just take off and drive next time, instead of waiting outside for the bus.

I may be wet and cold, but I’m going somewhere nice. That’s enough to keep the spirit warm.

I miss this. I miss being alone among people. I miss being forced to read, or write, or do nothing.

I don’t do this often enough.

Lonely Lot

Sometimes, you need to get outside. Dodge the drunks stumbling through the halls, the people standing and waiting for their groups, the familiar faces. Maybe because it’s snowing outside, and you don’t want to miss it, when the sky aches the same orange as you do.

This isn’t your scene, but there’s no one to back you up, so you smile and nod. Fake kisses and obligatory hugs, thinking, “I don’t know you, and I never will”. A façade to appear normal, when memories come flooding back. Sitting alone at a table, wondering why you came in the first place. Times without a person to make you a promise. Moments with other people’s wives, because he’s secure like that, and wishing for nothing else. Walking these halls alone the way you’re doing now. Memories you wish were a little more distant. Maybe you’ll come back one day, and break even, or maybe even come out ahead.

Until then, your indifference will keep you alive.

Sometimes you need to take a picture of something, anything, because nothing you see here is how you feel, and it’s the only way you can scream.

Maybe it’s not so much outside, where you’re running, as away.

More Stolen Words and Pictures

Most recently, a person called Cleo, who also goes by the misnomer “sexy1980”, stole both words and pictures from a heartfelt entry I wrote after a particularly hard day. Word-for-word. You see that car on her site? That’s my car.

If you dare to look at this abortion of a web page, do so at your own risk. I warn you, the animations and colours are not for the feint of heart.

I wasn’t happy when someone started copying entire entries of mine, word-for-word, or when another person stole my design of Version 10 (his attempted redesign in an effort to cover up his actions isn’t that far off either). Sure, I also get people hotlinking my images too, but I take simple pleasure in replacing the images with pictures of a lemon party, because I get to laugh at things like this.

But when someone steals both my words and hotlinks my pictures I get really pissed off.

Christmas Wish-List '08

Updated tastes for 2008. Many items from my 2006 and 2007 lists are crossed out, which is why categories like “furniture” aren’t smaller now.

I’ve been told that I’m notoriously hard to shop for. Not only am I extremely picky, I have esoteric (and expensive) tastes, and I usually buy — and so, have — the things that I want. This year, I realized that good gifts are things people want, but which they don’t buy for themselves because they can’t justify the cost. It doesn’t have to be lavish, but maybe a little overpriced, something you wouldn’t necessarily buy for yourself.

Photography

Canon EOS 5D Mark II (about $2800) — Yep. This is the big one. I had the Mark I on my list back in 2006. This one is full frame, does dust cleaning, and records video now. Even though I have a camcorder already, I want this for low-light and low depth-of-field work that consumer camcorders simply can’t provide.

Housewares

Tea Forté Morehouse glass ($25) — A double-walled glass that can be used to keep tea warm (or iced tea cold). Made with a cover for the leaf on Tea Forté pyramid bags to stick out. No condensation means no coaster needed. Love the design and functionality.
Tea Forté tea trays (×2) ($7) — For holding individual tea tags. Comes in sets of two with four colour choices, but I like bone white.
Bodum Assam 1.5L teapot ($50) — My previous, smaller Assam teapot broke (rather easily) as I was cleaning out the filter. I can’t give up my love of Bodum products though. I already have tea makers for single servings, but I don’t have a pot for when I have guests over.
Oxo Candela Flare (set of eight) ($130) — I’d put these on the banister that separates my hallway from the stairs. It’s pretty bland right now.

Furniture

B2C Expandable Dining Table ($699) — To replace the cheap, scratched-up dining table I have in my kitchen now. Frosted glass? More like frosted sexiness.

Gadgets

Tenori-On ($1200) — I’ve been waiting for this to be available in Canada for more than a year, and it’s finally come. I’ve always wanted to get into music as another medium of creativity. I come from a musical background (as opposed to visual arts), but the Tenori-On combines both, in a simple, easy-to-use interface.
Aromatherapy Car Diffuser ($16) — For keeping the car fresh, with refillable scent pads.
Apple Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard ($80) — I’m hoping the next MacWorld Expo will announce an update, not a discontinuation, to the Mac Mini, which I’d get for a home theatre system (my TV is soon to be disconnected because I don’t use it enough). If this holds to be true, I’d have to buy a keyboard, which I could already use now.
MicroFly Tiny R/C Hovering UFO ($20) — Small and easy-to-fly. Something I’d use to play with Dolly.
Colibri Throttle Silver Plaid Lighter ($60) — Much to my dismay, the electro-quartz trigger on my old Colibri died. It was one Christie gave me for my birthday, with my name engraved on it. I’ve been looking for a lighter ever since, and this is the first one I’ve ever really considered. I’m super-picky about lighter design.
Auto LED ($25) — Plugs into the cigarette lighter of the car, and glows blue (which would match the meters of my car). Pull it out, and it becomes a handy-dandy flashlight.

Games

Rez ($20) — One of the most underrated and genre-busting games of the PS2.
Devil May Cry 3: Special Edition ($20) — DMC has always been one of those series I hear about, but never got a chance to try. The special edition adds gameplay and fixes various issues.
Metal Slug Anthology ($20) — I love the arcady feel of Metal Slug. Something you can turn on, and play with your brain off. The entire series in one game? Yes, please.