Posts tagged with "interesting people"

Tom and I

We used to have a code: I’d ask him “Hey Tom, you want to van­dal­ize the grave­yard tonight?”, this obscure line from an episode of Married…with Children.

If he respond­ed with, “No, Jeff, that would be wrong” (the next line from the episode), that meant he’d agree to throw rocks into a lit­tle stream under an over­pass dur­ing our grade 7 lunch break. When we were fin­ished eat­ing in the cafe­te­ria, we’d walk to the stream with the remains of the hour, dressed in bur­gundy tie and pine blaz­er, heav­ing any appro­pri­ate­ly sized rocks into the water. It was our goal to block the flow of the stream one day.

It was a fruit­less goal, of course, so much like every­thing we did back then, when noth­ing we did ever seemed to mat­ter. A goal we’d nev­er hope to accom­plish.

A way of say­ing, “I hope these days nev­er end. I hope I nev­er grow up, and I’m nev­er too old to throw rocks with a good friend.”

Sometimes we’d throw what was left of our lunch­es into the stream, and be reward­ed with the glimpse of a soli­tary fish break­ing the sur­face of the water and snatch­ing a morsel.

By the time we returned to class, the sheen on my brogues would be replaced by a fine lay­er of dust from walk­ing around in the grav­el. I’d wear that dust proud­ly, because no one ever knew how it got there, a secret code between him and me.

Sometimes I check up on Tommy. Not that he knows. I won­der if we could be friends again. We lead two dif­fer­ent lives, but that’s nev­er stopped me from being friends with some­one. Part of me is scared that he’s nev­er changed, nev­er grown out from the ele­men­tary school Tom I used to know — some­thing all too com­mon in my expe­ri­ence — and I’d just rather not know. It’s enough for me not to con­tact him.

But I still root for him, not because we used to be such good friends, but because I know that if he can make it, so can I.

An End To Therapy

I stopped going to ther­a­py.

Because I feel like I’m fixed.

Not com­plete­ly, but I’m at the point where I can rec­og­nize my prob­lems, bad men­tal habits, and work towards fix­ing them myself. My anx­i­ety — the rea­son why I went to ther­a­py in the first place — is under con­trol, and I’ve been delight­ful­ly drink­ing black tea in the morn­ings1. No more sui­ci­dal thoughts either.

I asked my psy­chol­o­gist whether I could hang out with him out­side of the ses­sions because I enjoyed his com­pa­ny so much on a per­son­al lev­el. From life to art to soci­ol­o­gy, we would always stray onto a wide vari­ety of oth­er top­ics. Perhaps I found the human mind to be as fas­ci­nat­ing as he did.

He told me that as much as he’d like to, his ethics would­n’t allow him to do so. I brought up the option of going to some­one else for ther­a­py, so that we could be friends, but after a bit of con­sid­er­a­tion, I did­n’t like that option either, because I real­ly enjoyed work­ing with him. On top of that, as he explained, he would be avail­able to me if I ever required his ser­vices in the future. I won’t lie and say that it did­n’t make me very sad, but I under­stood and respect­ed his rea­sons.

So after my last ses­sion, we shook hands, and he said “I’ll see you when I see you. Take care”.

And he meant it.

  1. Caffeine, along with many oth­er things, used to trig­ger anx­i­ety attacks in me. []

My Relationship with Frederic and Misun

I con­nect with Frédéric and Misun in two very dif­fer­ent ways.

With Frédéric, we relate through our emo­tions, our dri­ve, and the need to express our­selves. We also have a ten­den­cy to feel like out­siders, per­haps because we’re often judged or mis­un­der­stood. In this way we com­fort each oth­er, because it’s as if we feel less odd or alone.

Misun, on the oth­er hand, is like my big sis­ter. She cares about me, takes an inter­est in what I do, and gives me advice the way I imag­ine a sib­ling does. I can share my inse­cu­ri­ties, my dreams, my feel­ings with her, as if I’ve known her my entire life.

Together, they encour­age and sup­port me, although nev­er to the point of flat­tery. In this way, I know that I can trust them to be hon­est; some­thing increas­ing­ly rare nowa­days, as peo­ple hide behind smiles and emp­ty words. When I’m with them, I feel like I’m whol­ly under­stood and accept­ed.

I always leave their house with a tremen­dous sense of hope, because they believe in me the way no one else ever has.

A Night with Russell Peters

Having front row tick­ets to see Russell Peters means that you’re a fair­ly big tar­get for being picked on.

Especially after Pat yells “WOO” amid an oth­er­wise silent the­atre when Russell starts to explain how Chinese peo­ple aren’t as cheap as Indian peo­ple. From that point, we were known as the “Wu” fam­i­ly, and he’d refer to us when talk­ing to the Chinese crowd.

No one is off-lim­its though, and his eth­nic jokes cov­er a spec­trum of races as wide as the earth. I sup­pose that’s how he pulls off his par­tic­u­lar brand of stereo­typ­ing com­e­dy. Ottawa is an espe­cial­ly fit­ting place, where minori­ties min­gle instead of seg­re­gate, and per­haps it’s exact­ly this rea­son that the crowd is so ebul­lient. It almost as if his set is writ­ten for us.

Afterwards, it was back to Pat and Jen’s for some con­ver­sa­tion over hot choco­late from their Tassimo. A scoop of mint-choco­late-chip ice cream dropped into said bev­er­age turns it into a yum­my can­dy-cane hot choco­late, some­thing I must explore fur­ther in the future.

Lost Girl

Lost girl in a coffee house - head down.

I saw her there again. She was sit­ting in a cor­ner of the cof­fee shop, head on the table. Last time she was still car­ry­ing her gro­cery bags. This time, there were no bags, no Dora The Explorer hat. Only a thin, hood­ed win­ter coat, and salt creep­ing up to the shins of her sweat pants.

Lost girl in a coffee house - head up.

Occasionally, she would prop her head up, as if to reori­ent her­self to her sur­round­ings, and her mat­ted hair would fall about her face. She nev­er seemed to notice. She was gone again.

But was she lost to the world, or was the world lost to her?