Coolest thing about a girlfriend who’s a registered massage therapist: general health and medical training means that she can distinguish between the different gaits and kinetics of the thirteen different Eternal Darkness characters.
Oh yeah, and the pro massages.
PRO.
Last week, Aaron and Karen got a nine-week old kitten, named Chaos. I had the pleasure of checking up on him over the weekend. He was extremely nervous about meeting me at first, but he eventually warmed up enough to play with a mousie that I once bought for Dolly. I can already start to see parts of his personality coming through; he’s a little shy, but really enjoys human attention, and can spend hours just batting things around.
Some people turn to pills and things
To help them through the day
To take them up or down or just
To ease the blues away
But me I really want to feel
The ups and downs of life so real
Happy or sad emotions reign
My tears flow just the same
—Lamb, I Cry
I had been trying to write this for nearly a month, but couldn’t get it down until I really listened to the lyrics of I Cry on the walk home past the power lines. I decided to split this up into two separate entries, after realizing that I have two similar ideas in my head, but two very distinct issues. Perhaps it just took a few extra rough days of work to force me to think about this. All the things falling apart that I have to fix, responsibilities, deadlines, and tons of other miscellaneous things are definitely making me think of ways to get the tension out of my arms and shoulders.
Sometimes, when I come home, all I want to do is get piss drunk or mindlessly stoned. Maybe go recklessly buy a bunch of things I don’t need, to make myself feel better for that little amount of time. Sometimes I just feel like doing something irrational, even though I have no idea what or why, simply because I believe it would get my mind of things. And yet I don’t do any of this, especially when I’m having a particularly bad day, because I don’t want to be dependent on anything.
I don’t want to rely on narcotics, or material goods, or self-mutilation, or anything at all to make myself feel better. I want to be sure that I can handle things, no matter what, on my own. I force myself to feel every stressful, miserable, forlorn emotion, so that I know that I can get through them.
Sometimes, every day can be a test. Music and writing are the only things that I allow myself.
And sometimes I have to tell myself that it’s enough.
Usually, my playlists are very carefully planned, and aside from a few organized by genre, are based on emotion and experience. However, there was there was one morning when I got up, and found myself outside on a chilly fall day, with everything was covered in an early winter frost. Past the buildings and the trees, a wall of cloud hung over the river, fazing stark whites through pale reds, coloured by the early sun.
This playlist was inspired by that single morning. The music is a mix of two moods; the first is a relaxed and beat-oriented, while the other is more dreamy and floaty. I recommend it for long trips by bus during the fall-winter transition. The bus really is the best way to pay attention to the landscape and the changing sky.
Portishead — Glory Box
Portishead — It’s A Fire
Portishead — Mysterons
Portishead — Roads
DJ Clue — Exclusive New Shit (feat. Nature)
Nas — Gotta Love It
Dido — Aria
Pinback — Loro
The Fugees — Ready Or Not
Xzibit — Carry The Weight
DNTEL — Why I’m So Unhappy
Cardigans — Explode
Band Of Bees — Punchbag
Modest Mouse — The World At Large
Bel Canto — Capio
Radiohead — Everything In Its Right Place
Radiohead — Motion Picture Soundtrack
Radiohead — No Surprizes
Sigur Rós — Ágætis Byrjun
Omni Trio — Higher Ground
Sylver — In Your Eyes
Dune — Winter Kills
(Authentic) Chinese take-out, Candellas, weed, movie, girlfriend.