Monthly Archives: April 2004

Post Graduate Business

I’m insane­ly busy. I have two exams next week, both of which I haven’t start­ed study­ing for yet. Actually I haven’t even been to class in about a month. Once I found out that my cred­its would expire in a few years, I lost all desire to do well, since I don’t plan on going back to school in a few years. I’m also mov­ing next week­end, and have only packed three box­es so far. Things just keep pop­ping up. Table ten­nis ses­sions, pot lucks, bar­be­cues, unex­pect­ed phone calls, blah blah blah. For once, I wish that I had a week­end to myself, where I could relax and read.

Powershot S410

The first, and hope­ful­ly only thing, I bought to cel­e­brate my new job was a Canon Powershot S410, in the dig­i­tal Elph series. It’s small enough for me to car­ry around in my pock­et, unlike my old cam­era, and is capa­ble of tak­ing 4.0 megapix­el pic­tures. It has a long expo­sure mode of up to 15 sec­onds, and cus­tom white bal­anc­ing. It can also take movies up to 320x240 res­o­lu­tion at 15 fps, which I’ve already had fun with at the Highlander Pub two week­ends ago. I decid­ed to go with some­thing com­pact for can­did snaps, instead of an SLR where I’d have to car­ry around an extra case/bag.

I Fucking Rule

Someone made me feel ter­ri­ble the oth­er day. She igno­rant­ly belit­tled almost every­thing that I’ve worked for in my life. To have this per­son so insou­ciant­ly give me advice on some­thing that I’m still try­ing to accom­plish was com­plete­ly insult­ing. Yet I can’t blame this per­son, because the com­ments made were in igno­rance of how hard I’ve tried, how much I’ve worked, how dif­fi­cult it’s been to make myself a bet­ter per­son.

With most oth­er peo­ple, I could­n’t care less about their opin­ions. But I respect­ed this per­son. I held her in the high esteem. This per­son was already most of what I want­ed to become. And, nat­u­ral­ly, this made her opin­ion impor­tant to me.

I don’t know what her back­ground is, or how she’s come to devel­op as the per­son that I know, but I do know that mine has made things dif­fi­cult on a men­tal lev­el.

It takes me longer than oth­ers to get over things. I only trust half a hand­ful of peo­ple. I’m still emo­tion­al­ly weak in some respects.

I’ve come a long way, and even though I still have much fur­ther to go, that does­n’t dimin­ish the fact that I’ve suc­ceed­ed thus far. Or the fact that it’s been a fuck­ing strug­gle. Or the fact that I’m fuck­ing proud of who I am now, and what I’ve already accom­plished.

So what can I say, real­ly, about these things said in pass­ing? Nothing. All I have to keep in mind is that what I’m work­ing towards is much eas­i­er to some than to oth­ers. That it’s me who’s in con­trol of my amour pro­pre.

And that, in the end, all that tru­ly mat­ters is self-sat­is­fac­tion.

The Inevitable Declawing

Poor Dolly is going to get declawed. I still had­n’t decid­ed if I was going to do it, so it’s sort of a relief to know that it’s not an option any­more. I prob­a­bly would have had to do it even­tu­al­ly, so it’s bet­ter now than lat­er. I’ll miss the way she catch­es toys in the air with her claws, or the way she kneads when I pick her up. I won’t miss the scratch­es on my nose when she decides that it’s some form of prey. She also likes to jump as high as she can on the walls, and scrape all the way down with four feet. I think she releas­es her climb­ing frus­tra­tions that way, even though she nev­er stays up. It makes a sound like nails on a chalk­board. Yeah. Won’t be miss­ing that.