Someone made me feel terrible the other day. She ignorantly belittled almost everything that I’ve worked for in my life. To have this person so insouciantly give me advice on something that I’m still trying to accomplish was completely insulting. Yet I can’t blame this person, because the comments made were in ignorance of how hard I’ve tried, how much I’ve worked, how difficult it’s been to make myself a better person.
With most other people, I couldn’t care less about their opinions. But I respected this person. I held her in the high esteem. This person was already most of what I wanted to become. And, naturally, this made her opinion important to me.
I don’t know what her background is, or how she’s come to develop as the person that I know, but I do know that mine has made things difficult on a mental level.
It takes me longer than others to get over things. I only trust half a handful of people. I’m still emotionally weak in some respects.
I’ve come a long way, and even though I still have much further to go, that doesn’t diminish the fact that I’ve succeeded thus far. Or the fact that it’s been a fucking struggle. Or the fact that I’m fucking proud of who I am now, and what I’ve already accomplished.
So what can I say, really, about these things said in passing? Nothing. All I have to keep in mind is that what I’m working towards is much easier to some than to others. That it’s me who’s in control of my amour propre.
And that, in the end, all that truly matters is self-satisfaction.