I’m living a drama-free life.
____ used to tease me about my drama, convinced that I loved it because I always seemed to be creating it. But drama is just a by-product of the struggle when you’re discovering yourself and trying to become the person you’re meant to be. It’s never an easy path; otherwise, you’d already be that person.
I don’t have bad days anymore either, but I can’t tell if it’s because I’m handling things better or if I’m not challenging myself enough.
And now that there’s no more drama, it feels like I’m finished. Like there’s no next step for me to take and nowhere else to go, because I’m here. All that’s left is to enjoy this existence.
That’s not to say my life is without a touch of inner instability. I still have memories, thoughts, lust, and love, and they’re enough to fill the mind for an entire day. But now I know everything’s gonna be okay.
Now that I’m working from home full-time, I barely step outside. Living like Foul Bachelor Frog, cause yesterday’s pants are today’s pants if they have the belt in them. There’s nothing for me out there. It’s never worth the trouble anymore. I’d go out if I wasn’t so content in my comfortable home with two cats and everything I need to sing or write or create.
I’m just wondering if I’ll ever get tired of this.
I love your new kitten! He looks like he will be the perfect cuddling cat!
He’s too much so actually…he loves licking my face in the middle of the night and it always wakes me up! I never thought I’d need a cat to be less affectionate.
Haha! He sounds like the perfect cat to me! You should think its sweet that he adores you so much. :-)
“But now I know everything’s gonna be okay.”
Everything’s gonna get lighter, even if it never gets better.
I love that music video…the grading is so dreamy. Thanks for sharing.
I remember years ago when I was about twenty-five and in therapy for the first time we talked about drama. My therapist didn’t understand me, thought I meant ‘bad things’ and couldn’t imagine how I saw the world as a backdrop to the scenes that were my life. That was drama. A by-product.
That’s not to say that mood changes, highs and lows and all the behavior and the effects that go with it aren’t dramatic in themselves.
I’ve always felt I understood a lot of what you wrote over the years. I’m 40 1/2 now and it seems I’m nowhere near where you seem to be. I’m happy for you and I find hope in that. Thanks for sharing so much.
The last time I saw my therapist (which was about a year ago), I told him I felt fine. He suggested that I start seeing him on a regular basis anyway because he felt that there were still a few underlying issues to work through. So while I’m thankful that I feel okay enough that I don’t need to go, I still wonder at how stable this is.
I’m glad you’ve been able to relate. So many people don’t understand, and that by itself is enough to make one feel alone.