It’s easy for someone to associate an experience with the last memory involved. I’m not without guilt in this issue myself. I’ll admit that the rough patches near the end of my relationship with Loo have come to define the experience a little unfairly. Sometimes I have to remind myself of how much it’s helped and changed me.
In reality, I learned more from my time with Louise than from any previous relationship. This was a person who inspired (and pushed) me to be better, but it wasn’t only her, it was the lifestyle as well.
I try not to have too much responsibility at this stage in my life, so when I do have it I take it seriously. Being a dominant means that responsibility is assumed over another person, another being, another living soul. To be given this responsibility, as a bond of supine trust, provided me a sense of confidence I had never felt before.
And with this trust came a rejuvenated zeal for self-improvement. She was strong herself, so I had to be stronger. If Louise’s contribution was to push, my contribution was to grow. It helped me figure out what I want in the next few stages of my life. I stopped slouching. I started speaking with more authority. I started walking into restaurants first, something I could never do before, for reasons I could never explain. I demanded more out of life.
In the end, it didn’t work out. The dynamic wasn’t right. Unfortunately, I never felt like I was able to completely handle everything until it was actually over. Funny how life works out like that. What I’ve lost is only relevant now.
But what I’ve gained is more important.
The Trinary Maturity Series
- Introduction
- The Job
- The Girlfriend
- The House
- (In)Conclusion
How could one deny the potential someone like you has? It was my great honor, privilage and pleasure to help you express the parts of you i saw. The parts i think shine brighter then you (use to) care to admit.
Certainty comes with control or at least more certainty than with passivity… or perhaps that is only true for those who chose the Dominant path… and for those of us who choose to be subordinate; find comfort in the certainty that is provided in giving up power, in being able to rely on someone else to provide consistancy.
I’m sorry for what transpired in the end, i had lost myself in doubt. and for that, i appologize a million times over.
with much respect.
Louise.