Monthly Archives: March 2004

Mother I'd Like To Fool Around With

It seems like I’m run­ning into more and more attrac­tive, old­er women late­ly. By old­er, I mean old­er. Like Julianne Moore or Jodie Foster around-40-but-still-attrac­tive old­er.

I try to explain this to Trolley, and he gives me the squint­ed eyes look, as if he’s think­ing, “Forty? Did he just say forty? Maybe he meant four­teen. But that’s even worse! Where’s my beer?”

I think it just comes from the fact that these women are still phys­i­cal­ly attrac­tive at a stage in their lives that’s gen­er­al­ly not asso­ci­at­ed with that sort of thing. I can appre­ci­ate the fact that they keep in shape at their age, even after they’ve had kids. I sup­pose that it’s a bit of a cor­re­la­tion, that they’re will­ing to work on such things for their hus­bands, and that’s what stands out to me. Maybe I’m just sick of the girls I meet that are my age.

Bananas Vs. Bran

It’s good to get into a sched­ule again, even though I’m not quite used to wak­ing up at 7:00 am yet. I haven’t been on sched­ule for more than a year. I had such a light load for my two semes­ters of uni­ver­si­ty that I could basi­cal­ly wake up when­ev­er I want­ed to every day. And then there was the sum­mer, when I took four months off to relax and could stay up till 7:00 am talk­ing on the phone (good…good times). Next was four months of look­ing for a job and not find­ing one, which end­ed up being a good thing or I would­n’t have been able to spend a month in Hong Kong.

Not hav­ing a sched­ule is like hav­ing only one course a term. There’s not much motive to get work done, and every­thing is put off to the last sec­ond. Being on a sched­ule makes me more pro­duc­tive. I actu­al­ly don’t mind doing chores and errands, eat­ing reg­u­lar meals, even doing the dish­es. The order and reg­u­lar­i­ty is a nice change from the amor­phous life I’ve been liv­ing for the last lit­tle while.

Wavelength

It’s so hard to wit­ness some­one being made fun of, sim­ply because they’re mis­un­der­stood. I get flus­tered and bite my lip, because try­ing to defend them nev­er does a thing. I also get either angry or sad, depend­ing on whether or not I know the per­son who’s doing the mock­ing. In my expe­ri­ence, some­one who’s so quick to come to a con­clu­sion will refuse to see things anoth­er way. They have enough pre­con­ceived notions to keep them­selves igno­rant and secure.

Perhaps I’m like this because I can relate to what it’s like to be mis­un­der­stood. As an exper­i­ment in one of my English class­es, I wrote an extreme­ly graph­ic sto­ry about a necrophil­i­ac doc­tor who ends up get­ting raped up the ass, and pre­sent­ed it. I want­ed to show that the inten­tions of an artist are irrel­e­vant if he or she is mis­un­der­stood, because oth­ers will con­tin­ue to care­less­ly judge them. The more odd­ly my class­mates stared at me while I was pre­sent­ing, with­out try­ing to grasp what I was try­ing to do, the more I felt like my point was proved.

The thing is, some­one is usu­al­ly mis­un­der­stood because they don’t explain them­selves well. A per­son can be extreme­ly provoca­tive, con­tro­ver­sial, or com­plex, but as long as oth­ers see what they’re try­ing to get across then every­thing is fine. Of course, it’s much eas­i­er said than done, and some­one is most often mis­un­der­stood because their ideas are hard­er to grasp. In addi­tion to this, I find that the eccen­tric­i­ty relat­ed to a per­son with such ideas clouds their per­cep­tions as to what they believe oth­ers are capa­ble of com­pre­hend­ing.

Sometimes, I wish the world could see what I see.

3 Minute Miracle

Know what’s scary? Leave-in hair treat­ment like Infusium 23. I bought some by mis­take cause I thought they only made con­di­tion­ers, so I reached for the wrong bot­tle. I think I’ve been pro­grammed to fear leav­ing in con­di­tion­er. Still, the leave-in treat­ment is fuck­ing good. The tips of my hair are usu­al­ly total­ly fried (I show­er right before I sleep and have major bed-head every morn­ing) but now they just seem so soft and man­age­able.

The Perfect Job

I now run the IT depart­ment for a lab­o­ra­to­ry of about 45 peo­ple. I’m in charge of all instal­la­tions, upgrades, main­te­nance, back-ups, and secu­ri­ty for both hard­ware and soft­ware. I make the annu­al com­put­er bud­get, decide if/when any­thing needs to be pur­chased, and am involved with any devel­op­ment projects that come up. I can design my own projects if I feel like they’ll help the com­pa­ny. I’m involved in mar­ket­ing, design­ing ads for mag­a­zines, fly­ers, trade shows, and web­pages.

I have a huge desk that cov­ers three sides, and share an office (not a cubi­cle) with one oth­er per­son. I have a health plan, two weeks paid vaca­tion per year, and most of the time I make my own work instead of some­one telling me what to do. The indus­try is grow­ing, secure, and has lit­tle impact from gov­ern­ment cut­backs.

My boss is a good man with a great vision. The com­pa­ny pays for any train­ing or class­es that I take. I can spend as much time as I need doing tuto­ri­als or read­ing

I’ve signed the con­tract. I’ve been giv­en a time­card, a lock­er, and a set of keys to the office and stor­age room. The hours are flex­i­ble enough for me to fin­ish cours­es for this term, at which point I’ll switch only to work.

As with all my pre­vi­ous jobs, the first pay­cheque goes to my grand­moth­ers, the sec­ond pay­cheque I split with my friends, the third pay­cheque goes to my sav­ings.

I’ve start­ed the per­fect, per­fect, per­fect career.