I see the parts but not the whole
I study saints and scholars both
No perfect plan unfurls
Do I trust my heart or just my mind
Why is truth so hard to find in this world
Yeah in this world
‘Cause I am due for a miracle
I’m waiting for a sign
I’ll stare straight into the sun
And I won’t close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind
—Thrice, Stare At The Sun
Even at my age, whether others may consider it young or old, I haven’t decided on a specific set of beliefs, whether they be religious, philosophical, or psychological.
In trying times I find myself wishing that I had something, some form of structure that would make sense of the things that happen. The most serene people I know are also the most pious, as they seem to have an answer for the seemingly unexplained or undeserved. I’ve often asked theists, the ones whose intelligence I respect, what has made them believe in one or several gods. Most commonly the answer is that they have enough evidence for such an existence. Even though I’ve had a few serendipitous experiences myself, things which I can’t explain by chance alone, it hasn’t been enough to give me a definitive answer.
I used to be an atheist, then an agnostic, until I became completely undecided. It’s rare to find other people who are open-minded enough to admit that they are still learning, or have yet to discover what so many other people already have. What I know for sure is that I still have the rest of my life to find out, to walk that path and make that journey.
Gimmie a girl who isn’t afraid to stare at the sun with me.