pharmaceutical intervention

Sanity is supposed to come from little portions of Cipralex, but I have to survive long enough for the doctors to find the right dose. It may well be several months before they discover what works, and every day in between terrifies me.

Until then, I can’t sleep, I can’t come, I can’t eat more than half of what I used to before getting full, and I can’t go without Gravol to fight the nausea. The side-effects are supposed to be better than the alternative — and I suppose cottonmouth is good way to get me to drink more liquids — but every wretched day makes me question whether this unique form of hell is worth it.

This used to be one of my greatest fears, and here I am faced with it cause I couldn’t handle life by myself anymore.


  1. The way I see it, you’re actually dealing with the situation. That’s good enough. Keep it up. Drink a lot of green tea, it will ease the dryness (the “heat”). As Roosevelt said, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

  2. That sounds very harsh; I hope that there have been a number of options discussed if these symptoms continue?

    I commend you for trying to put yourself out of harm’s way. But do realize that doctors are not gods, and continue to look for the right solution for your own body. Research it if you can; ask for options from others. I think it’s a strange thing that medicine presumes all bodies will react basically the same way to a given drug — to me that seems impossible.

    Also, don’t give up trying different providers if one seems not to hear you. (I get those all the time and I toss them as soon as I can.)

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