The doctor told us she has another 5–6 months. Her colon is so enlarged from the tumor that it’s thicker than her spine, and the procedure was just a temporary solution to prevent further blockages.
How strange it is to “know” how much time there is left. I guess that’s why they call it a deadline. I had already assumed that this would going to be the last time I could see her, but that won’t make it any easier when I have to leave.
I’m grateful to the people who have been sending me their regards. It’s a nice comfort. One of the best pieces of advice came from Charlotte, who told me to “not leave anything at all unsaid to her…leave no questions unanswered, and to not withhold any affection you feel for her”.
I had come to Hong Kong with the intention of telling my grandma how important she was to me. Finding the right words in Chinese to express exactly what I wanted to say.
But trying to speak with her has made me realize that she doesn’t care about any of that. She’s a very practical woman, almost to the point of tactlessness. For almost her entire life, married at 14 and as a single parent of seven kids, she’s had no time for words or feelings.
I’m here, and that’s how she understands how I feel.
My grandfather passed away very suddenly 2 years ago. I live 400 miles away from him and remember that he always just enjoyed a visit from my wife and I. We never talked about anything deep or serious, he just wanted to see how we were doing, exchange stories, and just enjoy our company. Those are the times I will always remember. My grandmother is still alive and she is the same way. She just loves us to visit and sit and talk. Nothing deep, just how life is going. That practicality is always nice because there is just a no-nonsense air about her that I wish I could have.
My condolences on the impending loss of your grandma. Take solace in the memories you have and will create. Also, remember there will always be a part of her with you, and she has influenced your life in ways you may never know or realize.
It’s good to know that something so simple can mean so much to someone. I’m still discovering my grandmother’s influence in my life every day that I’m here in Hong Kong, directly or indirectly (through my relatives). I’ve made a point of taking as many photos and videos as possible, and I hope my family will appreciate it later on.