There Is No Such Thing As Love

Let me give it to you straight, straight like an arrow.

I’ve had these words stuck in my head for some time now. Lyrics from the tit­u­lar Dears track I first heard in uni­ver­si­ty, back when I would go home in the sum­mer and watch The Wedge on Friday nights.

I know that’s awful­ly cyn­i­cal to say, but I need proof that it is pos­si­ble today.

I just wish I could accept that fact. I’m start­ing to won­der if that’s why I keep hear­ing the words in my head. It’s my sub­con­scious remind­ing me, keep­ing me ground­ed.

Maybe that’s why we watch these movies. Hollywood would have us believe that love exists.

It’s the same sto­ry, where guy sees girl, falls in love, and hap­pi­ly ever after. In between, there’s always the overused plot ele­ment of the guy win­ning over the girl by reveal­ing him­self and his feel­ings. After all, this alone is enough to win any girl over, regard­less of whether she found him attrac­tive or not, she was mar­ried or sin­gle, or he was the nerd and she was the cheer­leader.

But love does­n’t exist in real life, as much as I want to believe that it does.

Not for me, any­way.

138 comments

  1. Most women nowa­days are real gold­dig­gers, and always will be.

  2. I’ve nev­er known what some claim to be love. Not one of my few girl­friends over the years have I felt I was loved. Used, yes, for what pur­pose I haven’t a clue. Once sees attrac­tive woman and it is always what can you “give” me? Women are always seek­ing some­one, be it male, female or ?… to offer up gobs of mon­ey, pres­tige or fame in return for their “love”. Someone like me who real­ly has none of those things to offer a female nev­er expe­ri­ences “love”. I guess it is ingrained in our DNA stem­ming back to our ear­li­est evo­lu­tion where there was a need of repro­duc­tive females to seek pro­tec­tion from preda­tors by strong males. Today, this is total­ly unnec­es­sary. However, females still seek out mod­ern expres­sions because it is in their DNA.
    I was watch­ing a report on PBS I think about this group of young men who have nev­er had sex with a female. And they are angry. The PBS reporter inter­viewed this guy in his 20’s who still lives with his par­ents. He spends all day and night on line with his chat group with oth­er angry young guys in sim­i­lar sit­u­a­tion. He has no job and isn’t in school work­ing on a degree. Suicide is on the up swing with­in this cohort. They also said that 80% of all males nev­er find that “one” love con­nec­tion.

    Could it be that “love” just does­n’t exist? I think so…

  3. when it was cheat­ing it was’nt real love.
    When it’s bee­ing with some­one for mon­ey it’s not real love.
    If it’s because of fear bee­ing alone it’s not love.
    When it’s only to make chil­dren to pass mon­ey, tit­tle and sure­name it’s also not love.
    Love is there but it’s rare and you need to be lucky or false… because both sided real love is very rare… false and bad love are very pop­u­lar espe­cial­ly for those who want mon­ey and too much atten­tion.

  4. This top­ic is sub­jec­tive, depend­ing on the cul­ture and expe­ri­ences of each per­son. However I do believe in dif­fer­ent types of live.

  5. I was brought up in a world where I was taught that it was­n’t okay to be myself.

    From a very young age, my own earth­ly par­ents had me believe that I had to ‘fake’ hav­ing hob­bies and inter­ests for the sake of mak­ing friends and that such friend­ships were impor­tant.
    In hind­sight, the mes­sage from the begin­ning was painful­ly clear, “the world will not like you for who you are”.
    Those same par­ents who throw the world “love ya” around as if it were free can­dy only call for social occa­sions such as birth­days because that’s what oth­er peo­ple who love their kids do. They tell me how wor­ried they are about me but nev­er noticed me drop off face­book. There are nev­er any phone calls to say, “hey…I was wor­ried about you. How have you been?”

    This stark real­iza­tion has left me feel­ing cold. In hind­sight I’m also not sur­prised that as an adult, I have attract­ed adult males who have always tried to get me to morph into their notion of the per­fect woman.
    One said he would even pay for me to get my breasts fixed so they sit ‘where they’re sup­posed to’.
    Of course they’re as nice as plas­ti­cized pie to begin with, then by the time I start­ed to see through the façade, it was already too late.

    I am con­vinced that some peo­ple lit­er­al­ly do not know what love is. They are drawn to us to learn and sad­ly, we are drawn to them to learn to love our­selves.

    Some days I want to just sit and sob uncon­trol­lably. Some days I feel com­plete­ly help­less. But then I always get back up and dust myself off for the sake of my kids.
    They deserve to know that they are love­able, exact­ly as they are. They deserve to attract good qual­i­ty rela­tion­ships into their lives as adults. They deserve to know what hap­pi­ness tru­ly is.

  6. Yeah, I know if I were to die right now no one and I mean no one would try to check up on me. It would be my land­lord to whom would final­ly come by to see why I haven’t paid the rent. Can you imag­ine the stench that would devel­op if I died just after I had paid the rent?

    Love, what a quaint idea. No love in my life for sure.

  7. I have been fol­low­ing this top­ic for the last 3 or 4 years, and All though I’m not quite sure I have expe­ri­enced true love- There is some­thing in me that won’t let me give up on it, maybe it’s an illu­sion or maybe its still to come, but so far I must agree that per­haps love don’t Exist.

  8. I used to think I was a good look­ing man with an aver­age build, with good man­ners and a good head on my shoul­ders. I fin­ished high school and col­lege and yet I only been in two rela­tion­ships in my life by the age of 29 and now I’m 36. It seems no oth­er woman wants to give me a chance no mat­ter how hard I try. They say I’m fun­ny, charm­ing, intel­li­gent and hand­some yet they won’t date me or give me a chance. I bare­ly make enough mon­ey for myself and I think woman only look for some­one that has a lot of mon­ey with real­ly good looks and have abs to show off. I was very con­fi­dent through the years of my young life and after being alone for 7 years I feel like I’m just a worth­less man with no future that will nev­er have kids but to grow up old and alone wait­ing for my inevitable death, lone­ly death.

  9. it’s right theirs no such thing as love any­more, it’s dead mabey it use to be real or not but in this day and age it’s just somthing we all want but that’s l it is somthing we can want and when you think you found it or fake so look out becuze it will crush you with­out a thought
    if your out their look­ing for love I’m telling you right now it’s not worth it so go home while you can be one of the lucky ones who nev­er gets crushed and hold on to that hope Cruz at least then mabey you will at least believe in it.

  10. I think love in a monog­a­mous rela­tion­ship just does­n’t exist. Monogamy itself is a social con­struct, unnat­ur­al.

    Love between a par­ent and child, I think any­way, is based on a bio­log­i­cal need for our species to sur­vive, so, of course, a par­ent needs to ‘love’ and care for a child, it would be high­ly detri­men­tal not to and sur­vival rates would plum­met. It’s ’ In their blood’ to do so.

    Love between part­ners, boyfriend/girlfriend, I do not think exists. The need to be accepted/ ‘loved’ is again bio­log­i­cal because we are social beings. But that is not exclu­sive to rela­tion­ships. friends, peers, strangers and fam­i­ly all play a part in that.

    The need for sex/reproduce is the only strong, nat­ur­al, dri­ving fac­tor to stay in part­ner rela­tion­ships. Everything else is forced and social­ly con­struct­ed. Love just does­n’t exist.

    I think any­way

  11. Don’t I know it.

  12. Just too many low life los­er women every­where nowa­days unfor­tu­nate­ly, thanks to Feminism. Grow very old all alone with your cats ladies.

  13. Please under­stand that love is an ACTION. Love your­self by doing kind­ness to your­self and treat oth­ers the way you wish you were treat­ed. You would­n’t need it so much if you love and care for yourself…then you have some­thing to give. Day by day things change. Be patient with your­selves and your part­ner. Desperation for love is nar­cis­sis­tic in a way. So is depres­sion. The cure is char­i­ta­ble actions with no con­di­tions. YOU ARE LOVED or you’d nev­er have been born into this world. Please don’t cry. Please don’t let your­self wal­low in hate because that hate destroys you. If you think every­one is using you, you’ll unknow­ing­ly use oth­ers. That’s the truth. I’m here to tell you you are good enough just the way you are. You will suf­fer, even if you’re per­fect. Life is pain so that joy is evi­dent. We are ani­mals with domin­ion, the abil­i­ty to cre­ate, and the Holy abil­i­ty to man­i­fest the divine. You are loved even if you do noth­ing at all. Take care of your­selves aND hon­or that lit­tle baby inside you. Hug waves!

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