To Speak, To Dream

Thumbnail: Infinity candle holder

It’s on nights like this that I feel espe­cial­ly lone­ly.

I spent the last two hours look­ing for an image that would express my mood, but this was the best I could come up with. When I went out­side, to see if the street lights would offer me more, I passed by open win­dows, each one filled with a dif­fer­ent coloured light. It made me won­der what the peo­ple were doing, who they were with, what mood they were in.

It’s been a day alone. A day with­out con­tact. A day of rain and grey­ness, and liv­ing vic­ar­i­ous­ly at Robson Arms.

So here I sit in the dark, with my apple and hon­ey swirl pie and Ovaltine, writ­ing because I haven’t said enough today, list­ing to songs of love and hate. Feeling like an old soul.

Wondering tonight if I’ll dream, or sleep sound­ly, or dream with­out remem­ber­ing.


  1. It’s too dark for my tastes (although the gam­ma on our mon­i­tors is prob­a­bly very dif­fer­ent). I want­ed an image that was­n’t only about light, but about sur­round­ings too, which is why I used a man­u­al flash to slight­ly expose the back­ground.

    I also pre­fer most my images to have very small depth-of-field because bokeh pleas­es me, and it looks like every­thing is in focus in yours.

  2. Yeah, I fig­ured I can pho­to­shop the out of focus feel. It’s mak­ing me lazy when I take the pic­tures.

  3. how can you feel lone­ly when you’re in love?

    Especially when you’re falling in love…what I would­n’t give to feel that heady feel­ing.

    Unless you feel it the oth­er way, which is painful and aching and …ok, nev­er­mind.

  4. @Causalien — I’ve tried to do that, but the back­ground is nev­er an even amount of out-of-focus­ness unless every object is the exact same dis­tance from the cam­era. I find that to sim­u­late a real­ly nice out-of-focus feel takes longer than set­ting up the shot in the first place, so I just do it with the lens. That, and the fact that the “lens blur” fil­ter bokeh does­n’t match the char­ac­ter­is­tic of lens bokeh, mak­ing things look strange.

    @Zaira — Oh, I’ve fall­en. On the one hand, it makes me feel invin­ci­ble, like noth­ing can go wrong, but on the oth­er hand, it’s an uncon­ven­tion­al rela­tion­ship, with uncon­ven­tion­al feel­ings to go with it.

Leave a Reply