A while ago, Dan and I made plans to play some table tennis yesterday.
It’s been a year since we went to the old recreational club. The venue changes every year, and this season it was too much of a hassle for me to go as it was buried somewhere in the city. For Dan, the new venue was too far to be practical to go on a regular basis.
When we arrived, there were all familiar faces. We greeted them with handshakes and how-you-doings. Yerka, from the Czech Republic, arrived when we were catching up. Along with her Polish husband Andrei, Yerka was one of the new members last year. Andrei was on my league team, and even though I was captain, Andrei was definitely the best player, with Yerka always there to support him from the bleachers.
I extended my hand to her, but in the European fashion she leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. I reacted and adjusted for a kiss as well, but apparently there’s a rule on which side to kiss first.
My friends and I never faire la bise, and in my ignorance, I went for her right cheek, she went for my left, and we ended up kissing full on the lips.
Some think I have a form of OCD. They notice that I have to do things in a certain way. These things aren’t exactly debilitating to the point of being considered disorders, but they’re big enough for people to give me a teasing now and then.
I have to sleep with the end of the blankets at my feet. My duvet and cover are separate, so the opening is at one end. It bugs the craaaaaaaaap out of me if it’s not at the bottom.
I always carry a few things with me. Lip balm (Labello brand), cell phone, iPod, lens cloth (to clean glasses or camera), in addition to the normal wallet and keys. If I have a bag, this list expands to include a notebook with pen, and a camera. I’m very uneasy without them. I look for pants with appropriately sectioned pockets for this reason.
I wash my hands about 10–12 times over the course of a day. As a result, my hands dry out (which I also can’t stand) so I use Glaxal Base a couple times a day, which is a perfume-free, water-based lotion. It’s so hypoallergenic and absorbent that they use it as a base for topical medication.
I hate having an odd number of eggs in my fridge. This may be due to the fact that I never deviate from eating two eggs in one sitting. If I ever cook an odd number of eggs (maybe when a guest wants one or three), then I’m left with an odd number of eggs that I’ll forever be trying to even out again.
I always walk to the beat of the song I’m listening to. Most songs are in common time (4/4), which can be divided or multiplied by two, so adjusting the walking pace (in essence, two beats) is easy. Something based in 3 (such as Lamb’s album Fear of Fours) is less flexible. The only time I walk at my own pace is during songs with irregular or changing time signatures, like any progressive rock album where I can’t even figure out where the down beat is.
I have to wear slippers on tile or ceramic floors. I don’t know why.
I can’t listen to an album out of order. There may be songs I don’t like in the album, and I’ll have no problem skipping them, but I listen to the rest in order.
I have to eat portions of food in a certain way. This is only true for big meals with side and main dishes. There’s an order: side dish (mashed potatoes, or toast), side dish (corn, or egg), main dish (turkey, or bacon), rotating between all three, but always saving the main dish for the last bite. I find there’s a better contrast with the food when you switch between dishes. Flavours get lost when too much of the same thing is eaten. This is as opposed to Aaron, who eats his side dishes first, and then saves almost the entirety of his main dish for last.
At the rehearsal dinner I was lucky enough to meet Dennis, Aaron’s older cousin from Edinburgh, Scotland, and we immediately hit it off. Some people don’t so much talk with you as at you, whereas talking to others can be like dragging a stick through the mud, but for us it was the perfect balance. The art of conversation is dead, we agreed, and finding each other was like two Masonic brothers from different lodges meeting for the first time.
Pat later told me that, on arriving, he didn’t say hi to me for fear of interrupting us. Our faces were so intense, focused on each other, he said. Dennis and I exchanged contact info, and he offered me a place to stay if I ever went to Scotland. Normally, I’d brush off such an invitation as a glib pleasantry, if it weren’t for the fact that he repeated it five or six times over both nights. In return, I offered him a place to stay if he ever wanted to give Nana and Popa (whom he calls June and Vic) a break. It’s funny, I never knew their names until then.
I also had a good talk with Rob while Aaron and Chris were outside smoking cigars that night (which turned into the morning) before the wedding. We bonded over our love of Aaron, and I got to probe Rob, who’s deep enough for an entire entry I’ll be posting soon.
This is the Story of Aaron and Karen
Before I gave my speech, I showed this video as a way for everyone, but most importantly Aaron and Karen, to know how the groom’s side felt. Notice the keg-can of Heineken in Trolley’s shots.
I learned a lot about being an interviewer, about asking the right questions, about trying not to laugh at funny stories. You can hear in the way I ask Jay (yellow shirt), “In what way?”, that my cheeks are tightened in a big smile. I also realized that I shouldn’t finish other peoples thoughts, which is a bad habit of mine. The interviewer shouldn’t present any bias.
Everyone told me afterward that they were touched by how Aaron spoke from the heart. The interesting thing is that people were laughing at parts I didn’t expect them to laugh at. In my speech too. I don’t write to be funny; I can’t be a funny person why I try. It happens rather accidentally.
The speech did go well. I like how people started saying, “Woo hoo!” and “Cheers to that!” for the toast. If you listen closely after I give my thanks, there’s one person who claps well before anyone else, and I’ll forever be wondering who it was and why they were clapping with such vigor.
Wedding Opportunities
The ceremony was short and sweet, though it was a little cold. The Prince Charlie jacket doesn’t breathe, so the groomsmen were warm for most of it. I felt bad for the bridesmaids though, who wore backless, sleeveless dresses.
I caught up with Nick and Alison, whom I hope to see for a few photo projects down in that area at some point during the summer (I wish I was able to bring my camera to the wedding though). I got to know Steph a little better, and you could tell from the way she talks that she really cares about Trolley, which was important for me to find out. Hanging out with Jay was a blast too; he’s a really fun, easy-going guy, and I can totally see why he’s such good friends with Aaron. Pat did some robotics for us to the Scottish dance music, and I had the opportunity to introduce him to Dennis, hoping that both conversationalists would hit it off.
We danced, we mingled, we ate, we laughed. Weddings always offer great opportunities for such things. What other chance would I have to wear something as fun as the Scottish regalia (although Dennis explained to me that Ontario and Canada have their own tartans, and that I’d have the right to wear one if I wanted).
I was talking to Pat the other day and the subject of my sizable debt came up. Debt used to trouble me. I did everything I could to stay debt-free, and was successful until this year. For some reason though, I stopped caring about money. “You must be really happy”, he said, “if something that big doesn’t bother you anymore”.
It was true, but I never realized it until then. All the good things in life have easily outweighed the bad. There isn’t a single thing that I can point to and explain why, but it’s happened — gradually, progressively — over the course of the last year or so. I’ve become very comfortable with myself. I’m happy with who I am. The confidence I’ve gained, my luck in meeting Bronwen, the resolution of the situation with my mom have all contributed I’m sure. The small things don’t bother me anymore, and almost everything is a small thing. I still lose sight of the big picture every now and then and get in one of my moods, but they don’t last as long as they used to.
Now a new design.
I’ve had my own site since 1996, and looking back on all the different versions (around two dozen in all) I realize that they’ve all been dark — less than 30% grey. I used to be a dark person, and the designs were a reflection of this.
This new design serves two purposes. Metaphorically, the light grey (93%) represents my feeling of mirth. Technically, through various tweaking, I can take advantage of different design elements, such as strong (these were links in the last iteration) and emphasis. I also wanted to go back to the traditional underlined links, with a slight hover flourish. Pixel icons have been updated for extra playfulness. Also added is a colophon in the About section.
Not a complete layout change — really, it’s mostly colour — but probably the most drastic change I’ve ever made to the site.
Spring is when you wake up, and you’re sick and you’re groggy and your hair refuses to co-operate, and your iPod ran out of batteries, and you’re late for work but you take your time walking anyway because the sun’s in your face and the wind’s at your back and for some reason you know that everything’s going to be alright.