Anyway, what I was try­ing to say is that I’ve been real­ly moody late­ly. Extremely moody. Almost on an emo­tion­al lev­el.

Another post-breakup phase. I go through this for a few months after break­ing up with some­one, but it only start­ed to hit me recent­ly. Funny how I’ve only now had enough rela­tion­ships to actu­al­ly real­ize this. I look at my month­ly archives from the begin­ning of the blog and most of them begin with some emo­tion­al, con­fused line. In fact, this entire blog start­ed as a way to vent these post break-up thoughts and feel­ings, until it became some­thing more than that. Now I’m falling back into that trap. I’m start­ing to do stu­pid shit again, things I wish I did­n’t do, after­wards.

Every day, in my head, I plan out my entries for the next week. Yet, every time I sit down to type, I’m nev­er in the mood to write. It’s just the same shit, over and over again.

The dif­fer­ence is that this time I know what to do. I’ve been look­ing for too much mean­ing in too lit­tle.

I want to get out. For the first time in my life, I’m sick of this win­ter. I want to sit in the sun. I want to be amongst oth­ers.

I want to lay on the track, feel hot steel scream­ing at me
Expose the bones on my back, let me show you what I mean.