Posts tagged with "expression"

Without Bias And To Hold Nothing Back

Even after three years, it’s still strange when peo­ple e‑mail me, peo­ple I’ve nev­er met before who men­tion my expe­ri­ences and quote the words I’ve writ­ten. When they share a bit of their lives in return, per­haps from the guilt of find­ing them­selves the unas­sum­ing and unabashed voyeur, it nev­er ceas­es to be inter­est­ing. They’ll tell me of their pot smok­ing habits, rec­om­mend music that’s touched them in some way, talk about the abuse they suf­fered from their par­ents, share the kinky habits that are nor­mal­ly reserved for those with a phys­i­cal famil­iar­i­ty.

It’s strange because even with these details, I real­ly know noth­ing about these peo­ple, while they know some of the most inti­mate things about me, stuff that I hide from oth­ers in every­day life.

And the more I think about it, the more I real­ize that I’d rather not find out.

Damn The Consequence

One of the keys to blog­ging is to nev­er give a shit about what any­one else thinks. Never write for an audi­ence. Never cen­sor one­self based on what oth­er peo­ple may say. Never be embar­rassed or ashamed to admit any­thing.

Otherwise, one isn’t being true to one­self. If there are those who are nosy, those whom we’d rather not have read­ing, that should nev­er be an issue. I may have my fair share of creepy inter­net stalk­ers (one is already more than enough), but I refuse to let that stop me from say­ing what’s real­ly on my mind.

It may be dif­fi­cult to let go, but it’s worth it. The free­dom is com­plete­ly empow­er­ing. Blogs are a per­son­al space, as pub­lic as they may be, and should be treat­ed as such.

Expression is an act that should nev­er be hin­dered by some­thing as harm­less as opin­ion.

The Taste

I feel like speak­ing tonight. I feel like express­ing myself in some way, but can’t focus on what I want to say. I feel like I’m total­ly addict­ed. I feel like shar­ing some­thing that’s com­plete­ly embar­rass­ing, like the face trace trick or the wing chun dream.

I feel like singing. I feel like shout­ing. I feel like every­thing is just right.

I feel like I final­ly have peo­ple I can hang out with. I feel like I’ve final­ly had a mean­ing­ful rela­tion­ship.

I feel like I can dream with­out dis­ap­point­ment. I feel like I can think with­out hurt­ing. I feel like I can admire with­out jeal­ousy.

I feel like every song is the last I’ll ever hear. I feel like I’m final­ly liv­ing.

I feel hap­py.

Talking to the Walls

Why do I write? Mostly because I feel like it. I can’t write with a pen because a com­put­er allows me to orga­nize my thoughts much bet­ter. I choose to pub­lish my thoughts online. Yet I don’t write for an audi­ence, I don’t care who reads, I don’t know who’s inter­est­ed.

Does it take a read­er to val­i­date my thoughts? Not quite. I doubt I’d feel as good as I do after post­ing an entry if I just typed it in a text file and saved it on my hard dri­ve. Everything I write is post­ed and made pub­lic. So why do I post if it does­n’t mat­ter whether some­one reads or not?

It’s the act of pub­lish­ing that makes me feel val­i­dat­ed, not the belief that some­one will read it. My sat­is­fac­tion comes from self-expres­sion, not pop­u­lar­i­ty.

This is sim­i­lar to my style of dress. The clothes I wear are a reflec­tion of my mood, even though I don’t think any­one takes notice or actu­al­ly cares.

An exer­cise in expres­sion is its own reward.