Posts tagged with "cats"

Imbalance

I think Dolly may be inter­est­ed in hav­ing anoth­er cat around the house. I’ve been play­ing some cat sounds, and no mat­ter where she is in the apart­ment, she’ll com­ing run­ning into my room. A sec­ond cat is some­thing I only start­ed to con­sid­er this term. Last term it felt as if I would­n’t be able to han­dle the chores, let alone dou­bling my annu­al vet­eri­nar­i­an bill. Sometimes she seems lone­ly though, like when she imme­di­ate­ly starts to cry when I walk in the door after a day of school, her protest­ing only being soothed after pick­ing her up, and being replaced by a low purr. I’ve always seen myself as a one cat per­son; I think I’d feel a lit­tle imbal­anced if I had more than one. If I do decide to get one, it will def­i­nite­ly be after I grad­u­ate, def­i­nite­ly after I find a sta­ble job, and pos­si­bly after I can pur­chase a con­do. It would be more for Dolly than for me though. I can’t imag­ine find­ing anoth­er cat that is as well-adapt­ed as she is, so the idea scares me a lit­tle.

One time I dis­cussed with Pita whether he would ever con­sid­er get­ting two dogs. He said that he could­n’t, not just because it would be much hard­er to han­dle, but because he would feel more favourable to one or the oth­er.

The idea of favour is one that I haven’t been able to under­stand. How can par­ents love all their kids with­out lik­ing one more than the oth­er, espe­cial­ly when one fol­lows the desires of the par­ents more close­ly. It might be some­thing I don’t under­stand, being an only child. If such a bal­ance is pos­si­ble, would­n’t polyg­a­mous rela­tion­ships work as well? I think part of the mis­un­der­stand­ing stems from my con­fu­sion of rela­tion­al love and parental love as well.

For love is the root of my imbal­ance.

I Can't Stop Watching Swingers

There’s some­thing about the chem­istry between Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn that sim­ply fas­ci­nates me, and although I’m sure the momen­tum of it spawned the painful movie Made, I still feel inclined to watch it over and over again.

My course load got eas­i­er this term, when I dropped a six hour per week course for a three hour one. Light sched­ules always seem to make my mind sloven, as if the load isn’t enough to put my mind in gear, so I grow rest­less in neu­tral. I won­der what I’m going to do when I’m out of school and look­ing for a job, some­thing which will be hap­pen­ing with­in the half-year.

For some rea­son, Dolly takes an invari­able fas­ci­na­tion with the brush­ing of my teeth. Wherever she is, she’ll stalk up to my loca­tion and gaze intent­ly at the act, hunched for­ward with the weight on her front paws. I can’t fig­ure out what aspect of the brush­ing she may find inter­est­ing, and I won­der whether she’ll ever tire of watch­ing.

Living With A Cat

I’m extreme­ly tired. My kit­ten kept me up all night. She took the mid­dle of the bed, so I kin­da had to sleep around her. I kept wak­ing up, every time I need­ed to shift posi­tions, scared that I would crush her. I’ve been play­ing with her dur­ing the evening so she los­es a bit of the noc­tur­nal instinct to go crazy at night. I named her Dolly, after Nobokov’s char­ac­ter Dolores Haze. I need­ed to keep the name under two syl­la­bles, and I think that it’s a good sym­bol of the way one can nev­er tell whether a cat or human is the mas­ter, just as you could­n’t tell whether Dolores or Humber was in con­trol.

I feel so unor­ga­nized. I have so many things to do it seems. Take care of this, take care of that. I think that I’ve brought a lot of respon­si­bil­i­ty on myself, adopt­ing a kit­ten, apply­ing for a Big Brother posi­tion, doing this and doing that. I think that I feel much more mature and impor­tant when I do all this. Perhaps it’s a cry for atten­tion, but I doubt it. It feels like I’m sud­den­ly being over­loaded with things to do. I did­n’t fin­ish a sin­gle one of the three assign­ments that I had due this week. I’ve actu­al­ly been los­ing sleep, which is an extreme­ly rare thing for me.

I felt so guilty about those assign­ments. I’m pret­ty sure that I failed one of them. I just need to keep every­thing in per­spec­tive, some­thing that Sam taught me so long ago it seems. Everything feels so chaot­ic, spi­ral­ing out­wards like Yeats’ fal­con from the fal­con­er. Not that I think the Second Coming as at hand, of course, but things just seem so com­pli­cat­ed right now. They’re noth­ing com­pared to oth­er peo­ples’ prob­lems, I know, but I’m not use to being so respon­si­ble.

I Believe I'm Getting A Cat

I intend on get­ting one, after a lot of care­ful con­sid­er­a­tion. I’ve always want­ed one, but I was­n’t sure if I would have the resources to take care of it, time being the most impor­tant one. Another ques­tion I asked myself recent­ly was whether I was mature enough or respon­si­ble enough to take care of one for over 10 years. I refuse to be one of those peo­ple who sim­ply buy a cat because they want one, then grow tired of it, and give it away. I would def­i­nite­ly need to take care of my apart­ment bet­ter, which is a good thing. I was think­ing of pur­chas­ing every­thing that I need this week, then going to the pet store that I’ve been check­ing out and look­ing for a cat on the week-end. I seem to have an affin­i­ty for any­thing in the feline or pan­thera genus. I love the way they move, they hunt, every­thing about them. One of the most beau­ti­ful ani­mals cre­at­ed.

My work­load is start­ing to get heavy. I seem to have neglect­ed my assign­ments for the most part, so I have three due this week, and I’ve only looked at one so far. Fourth year seems to have gone well oth­er­wise.