the distances we travel, and yet how far we've still to sail

It’s all a bit of a blur now, espe­cial­ly since we agree it feels like it’s been a year since my respon­si­bil­i­ties as a son and a cousin and a friend in Toronto. I do remem­ber try­ing to bal­ance the caf­feine — so I could be clear-head­ed and enjoy­ing myself — with the insom­nia that comes from hav­ing so much ener­gy every night. Also, these acts of guer­ril­la hap­pi­ness where mes­sages of hope were expressed through posters and spray paint. It would appear that van­dal­ism cross­es over into art only in cities with a sky­line worth men­tion­ing.

We end­ed up at the Ontario Science Centre twice, once as nerds and again as wed­ding guests, which worked out cause the only exhib­it we did­n’t get a chance to see one day end­ed up being the only exhib­it open to us dur­ing the recep­tion. The high­light is always the plan­e­tar­i­um though, in all it’s bean-bag, time-trav­el­ing glo­ry, the expe­ri­ence itself worth the price of admis­sion. With the excep­tion of a poor fac­sim­i­le of drag­on’s beard can­dy, every­thing worked out.

Continue read­ing “the dis­tances we trav­el, and yet how far we’ve still to sail”…

libre

It’s good to have some­thing to write about again. To have friends who are com­fort­ing and kind in my most sen­si­tive moments, and just as impor­tant­ly, things to con­fide in them. Good hair days. Reasons to wear some­thing nice. Dreams with­out desire. Feelings with­out fear.

Hotel Nacional de Cuba tiles

I nev­er real­ized how much I need­ed a get away until I came home and got more done in a week than in the month before I left. Without a gui­tar or a work­load or an inter­net con­nec­tion or a rou­tine or any of my decks, detach­ing from life as I knew it was a sim­ple mat­ter. Maybe that’s why it felt like I was gone for so long, even though time passed so quick­ly. The only real con­sid­er­a­tion I ever had was how I’d like to spend each par­tic­u­lar moment, and pre­sent­ed with that kind of free­dom, I learned to tru­ly let go of every­thing else.

This is a picture I didn't take

Of you, arms up and chest out, body crash­ing against the surf. Top pulled back into place with each wave, bot­toms adjust­ed as need­ed. A splash of rain on a flower soon to bur­geon.

In that instance I became aware of what was hap­pen­ing in myself. I could look at it clear­ly, and saw it as it was because it was already there, part of my expe­ri­ence in that moment, for bet­ter or for worse. I allowed myself to be exact­ly as I was with­out fear or shame. Detached yet present. Mindful to how I’ve longed to feel this for some­one again, and how I’ve nev­er ful­ly sur­ren­dered myself to it until now. A rea­son for the lyrics in the awk­ward smiles, the molto crescen­do in every inci­den­tal touch.

This is a pic­ture I did­n’t take of you, a mem­o­ry from which I can’t seem to look away. A moment I car­ry with me to remind myself that I can love again.

Catan Catan Strip-Catan

We’ve start­ed mak­ing wagers in our mul­ti­play­er Magic games, small baubles or oth­er peo­ple’s prop­er­ty or an half-hour of labour1 to add anoth­er dimen­sion to the game­play. For a par­tic­u­lar three-way match, I anted my atten­dance at Catan Catan Strip-Catan cause I could­n’t make up my mind on going. Another busy week meant I was tired of being social — with the pos­si­bil­i­ty of being naked in such a sit­u­a­tion, no less — but it still sound­ed like a night that should­n’t be passed up.

Settlers of Strip Catan

Socks are usu­al­ly the first to go, but the pair counts as one point. And Brandon isn’t play­ing, he’s just half-naked for rea­sons.

Tiana and Shawn teamed up on me, since they want­ed me to go more than they want­ed to win what I had offered. However, they’ve also been mak­ing me feel com­fort­able with myself late­ly (the cud­dles always help), so I was okay with being tack­le-out at some point dur­ing the par­ty. I end­ed up win­ning all my Catan match­es any­way, and nev­er need­ed to take off more than an accou­trement.

  1. Great when you need the dish­es done after a par­ty, but I’m more like­ly to take a mas­sage. [↩]

Heather + Dave — Wedding Day

Shot at a Jewish sleep-away camp at the side of the Ottawa River on a per­fect day.

This film is one of the high­lights of my 2012 wed­ding sea­son. I had to end it on a scene dur­ing the first look, when Dave’s face reveals how anx­ious he is to see Heather in her dress; those are the moments that speak for all the years in a rela­tion­ship. They’ve known each oth­er since grade 7, along with most of the wed­ding par­ty. You can eas­i­ly tell how close every­one is from the way they touch and dance and embrace.

I worked very close­ly with Adrian from Five Stripe Studios in scor­ing this film. The wood­en build­ings and out­door set­ting made me think of sum­mer camp, so I want­ed the first sec­tion to sound like an old tape you’d find in your dad’s glove com­part­ment as he’s dri­ving you there, the rib­bon warped from heat. Adrian did an amaz­ing job of cre­at­ing that mood, the care­ful melod­i­ca being a very nice touch. There were also impor­tant details I asked for, like the slide gui­tar going from note to note exact­ly when the focus zooms from a leaf to the sun1, which he inge­nious­ly built into a repeat­ing theme.

Having com­plete con­trol over the music is great for per­fec­tion­ists like me, but the best thing about work­ing with such a tal­ent­ed com­pos­er is being able to give each cou­ple a set of songs that have been cre­at­ed just for them, some­thing that makes each film par­tic­u­lar­ly unique.

  1. At 1:45. [↩]