a quiet moment

I took a break from guitar. Not a conscious decision, just days that were busy enough that I didn’t think of picking her up, which means I don’t even know how long I’d stopped. All I know is that it was long, cause I feel the strings vibrating through every piece of wood that touches my body now, one of those sensations you stop noticing after enough time.

I haven’t had much to say either. Nothing seems important. At the same time, I’m trying to move away from this social media overload, where so many people speak only cause the power to do makes them believe they should. It’s making the gaps between my entries longer and longer, and I wonder if I’ll eventually stop writing altogether.

getting dressed

All I have are memories of lives I lived so long ago that I feel like I’m watching them in 8mm. The friends and the lovers, the love and the hate, the cycles and the patterns. I’m only now sorting out the meaning of each one, maybe cause I’ve finally grown enough to understand myself and my relationship with the world at large. It’s com­fort­ing to see how far I’ve come when com­par­ing the per­son I am now to each per­son I used to be.

But such progress came at the cost of my innocence; we aren’t always ready to learn the harder lessons, and surviving sometimes means we change in ways that prevent us from becoming the people we’re meant to be. I’m trying to take back that innocence now, cause I know my happiness is at stake.

7 comments

  1. I just heard one comment that Jobs was meant to die young because the iPhone has done so much evil, it’s made people constantly enslaved to meaningless messages.

    I hope you won’t stop writing. As for myself, writing helps put ideas in perspective.

    Maybe who we’re meant to be can change, not even change for the better or change for the worse…just change. It may even bring new happiness, something we may not have realised before.

    • Writing used to help me think things through, but lately talking to people has replaced this. I don’t know why talking has been a better outlet than writing. Maybe it’s all stuff I don’t want to have a record of.

      I’ve been adjusting my idea of “better”, so change is definitely possible.

      • You know, after all these years, I’m no longer sure what “better” means anymore, i.e., I’m a bit lost myself.

      • That’s interesting to hear. Was there a significant event that changed your perspective, or something you’ve gradually come to over time?

      • It’s gradual. The more I look around, and the more I think…you know.

  2. I’ll be happy if you’re happy either way.

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