don't let the past remind us of what we are not now

It’s been anoth­er crazy week. Between the appoint­ments and the hang­outs, I haven’t had a night to myself.

One thing I wish I had more time to appre­ci­ate is the weath­er. The most recent bliz­zard draped the city in snow wet and heavy, and all I want to do now is go out and shoot with a nice piece of glass that goes wider than f/2.8. I keep promis­ing myself I’ll do it next snow­fall, but life always seems to get in the way.

baby playing peekaboo

The over­stim­u­la­tion has left me with my guard down, and I’m stuck in my mem­o­ries again. Left remem­ber­ing old con­ver­sa­tions, nights lost to the sens­es, and my regret at not men­tion­ing how much I liked those nails done up in white and nude.

It’s not my fault. Honest. I get pulled into it in the most inno­cent ways. That song will come over the tin­ny speak­ers in the pro­duce depart­ment when I’m pick­ing out toma­toes. Or I’ll be on the 12 home, going through ran­dom songs in my col­lec­tion to try out my new mon­i­tors, when I catch some­one shar­ing what I always saved for us.

I’m start­ing to under­stand how help­less I am to change the past, but at the very least, I can change myself. And that’s often good enough nowa­days.


  1. You are so unique.
    What man remem­bers, let alone loves, a wom­an’s nails.

    • She rarely had her nails done, and usu­al­ly it was a sin­gle colour. One of the last times I saw her (after a stretch of time apart), was the first time she had a French man­i­cure, so it real­ly stood out. But it was a tense night and there was no chance for me to men­tion it.

  2. Hey, that’s one of my favourite songs. Just enjoy the music. Cheer up.

    • Wow, I can’t believe any­one got the song from those lyrics! I was going to pre­lude this entry with a thanks to Stephen Stills and his strange tun­ings. And the title at first was Suite: _____ Brown Eyes.

      I know it’s one of the great­est folk-rock songs of all time, but I only recent­ly dis­cov­ered it, and that line stood out in par­tic­u­lar. It was pret­ty much the inspi­ra­tion for this entire entry.

      • Interestingly I almost respond­ed with a ref­er­ence to a girl’s name which rhymes with the one men­tioned in the title of the song. I just had no idea about the colour though :)

  3. I got it; I per­formed it with a cou­ple of friends, many times. : ) It was about Judy Collins, I think, orig­i­nal­ly.…

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