homeostasis

Everything is balancing itself out. I’ve stopped trying to predict or control my cycles of introversion and extroversion, productivity and procrastination. As Oscar Wilde once said: “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it”. By doing what I want when I feel like it, every need is met in turn.

Life doesn’t get more comfortable than this. It’s been a great summer.

baby eating on high chair

Now on mashed solids. Ruby at 11 months.

I’m glad I got here by myself, without the help of a friend, or lover, or windfall. It was something I had to do on my own, so I’ll always know I’m strong enough to pick myself up and continue growing.

The only thing that’s really missing now is another cat (or two), but I already blew my kitty budget on Leonard’s vet bills. I’m not at the right place for a new adoption anyway, and I’ve decided to wait until my major projects are finished (hopefully some time around the end of the year) before I take on another life.

father and baby

It’s official; Kyden has the softest, pinchiest cheeks ever at eight months.

I’ve been back from my trip for about a month and a half, but it feels more like a year. I’m so different now from the person I was before I left. I was dying then, but I’m living now.

The only way I can tell how quickly time is truly passing is in the faces of my friends’ babies. Each time I see them they’re making new sounds, saying new words, more conscious and coherent. I used to envy the carefree innocence they have when running about naked, the single-mindedness they possess when engrossed with a new toy, but now I feel like one of them.

9 comments

  1. WOW these kids are both so beautiful. Hey, do you have a blueish filter on? or did you tweak the photos afterward? How’s this delicate tint look happen?

    • Yep, there’s a bit of colour-cross filter added, although the fact that you noticed it makes me think it’s not-so-delicate.

      • Oh don’t be hard on yourself…. I didn’t graduate from art school for nothing : D

  2. How did you change from dying to living? Was it just a mental switch that you had to turn on? Is it an acceptance kind of thing? Or was there a definitive moment or event that caused the uphill climb? I need to get on that road again too..

    • It was combination of all those things, brought on by my trip, so it required both an internal and external change. I’m thinking you need to travel, but you also need to be at the right point in your life to appreciate it.

  3. Aww, Kyden is getting so big! Lovely photos. I really want to get that Canon 5D. I’ve been playing around with a T2i and realizing how out of date my Rebel XT is. I do like the filter you’re using, gives it that timeless quality without making it all instagram-like :p

    I actually saw someone tweet about these photos and it made me think of you.

    http://www.weddingjojo.com/benandjuliana/photos

    Cracked me up XD

    • Thanks, I definitely try to tone down the grading on my photos cause I find the Instagram effect to be way overdone and out-of-date. I keep thinking other people would have seen more recent photos of Kyden than me, but then I realize none of us are on Facebook.

      I’m not able to see that album though, seems like it’s password protected now.

  4. Weird… I thought I left a msg here yesterday, did that not go through?

    • I think your comment got flagged as spam (not even an option for approval!) cause you have the combination of a few keywords about cameras, and a link. Makes me wonder what other photography people have had their comments blocked.

Leave a Reply