well intentioned but bad advice

Everything one does in life is a choice.

Assuming that oth­er peo­ple want to make cer­tain choic­es is pre­sump­tu­ous. Believing that some­one should make cer­tain choic­es is judg­men­tal.

Giving advice based on that is insult­ing. Doing so with­out being asked is rude.


  1. Ooooh. I hope I’m not guilty.

  2. Sometimes I’m not sure if you write about your prob­lems in hopes of get­ting some advice. I try not to give it with­out mak­ing you feel like you have to do any­thing. It’s your life, you’re free to do as you wish, I’m sure most of us here just want you to have the hap­pi­est one pos­si­ble :)

    • I write to get things off my chest. That’s often help­ful enough. It’s not that advice is bad. If it was rain­ing, it prob­a­bly would­n’t be con­sid­ered inap­pro­pri­ate if some­one rec­om­mend­ed car­ry­ing an umbrel­la, even if the two peo­ple did­n’t have a close rela­tion­ship. But some­times peo­ple go too far with their advice, cross­ing over per­son­al bound­aries (how insult­ing would it be if some­one you hard­ly knew rec­om­mend­ed that you did­n’t mar­ry your girl­friend because they did­n’t like her, for exam­ple). Even if it’s just a rec­om­men­da­tion, I think that’d be pret­ty insult­ing. It’s even more inap­pro­pri­ate when they don’t have knowl­edge of the entire sit­u­a­tion.

      But I’ve nev­er felt like you’ve crossed over any bound­aries that were inap­pro­pri­ate. :)

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