On Being Tested For Syphilis

  • Doctor, with swab in hand: If you’re going to faint, faint back­wards, not on me. I had a 250 pound foot­ball play­er almost kill me once.
  • Me, hold­ing down my pants: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

6 comments

  1. I always go the blood test route for STD test­ing (includ­ing syphilis), or is this your way of telling us you have sores on your peepee? That’s a fun­ny sto­ry though … unless you’re telling us you have sores on your peepee.

    • THERE’S A BLOOD TEST FOR SYPHILIS?! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

      BRB I HAVE TO KILL A DOCTOR.

      (I always thought girls would have it way eas­i­er, but I guess it’s still just swab in the pee-hole, and that would prob­a­bly hurt regard­less of gen­der. And I had a bunch of oth­er stuff test­ed for too! Why could­n’t he just group it in with the blood tests?)

  2. Re: “I have been a very dull boy late­ly.”

    It’s dif­fi­cult to rec­on­cile this tweet with the next entry in which you are hav­ing to be test­ed for syphilis?

    :-)

    • Ah, this test­ing was done a long time ago, when I was enter­ing a rela­tion­ship and want­ed to do my due dili­gence. Lately, I have had noth­ing as excit­ing as vene­re­al dis­ease to write about, so I fig­ured I’d recount an old, hor­ri­fy­ing expe­ri­ence. ;)

  3. Man am I glad I’m done with dat­ing. Whew.

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