Bronwen and I agreed to a marriage pact, where we would marry each other if we weren’t in a relationship by a certain age. The thing is, she’s six years younger than me, so we decided that her expiration date is 35, and mine 41, because it’s easier for men to date/marry than women, at an older age.

Note how I didn’t say “easy”. Heaven knows I had a hard enough time with dating in my teens. And twenties. And probably 30s.

According to her, we also have a suicide pact, even though I have no recollection of this. The only reason I can think of agreeing to that is if large parts of the world were destroyed by meteors, leading to the collapse of the economic system, creating anarchy, and reducing everyone to hunter-gatherers.

Bronwen and I are most certainly not hunter-gatherers, and we’d probably suffer unbearably just trying to survive, or be killed soon after because we’re too naive or compassionate for a dog-eat-dog world. The thing is, if that happened I’d try to join forces with Pat and Jen, because they always have everything together1. So maybe if they were also killed by this cosmic hailstorm, then it would still be an option.

  1. Pat’s the one who believes that at least one person should be in control in every group at all times, and that he is this person. The only time he was ever inebriated was for his bachelor party. []


  1. this is hilarious!

    Did you plan the wedding already? What would you wear? Can I design your cake?

    • I’m pretty sure that both of us would want a small wedding, where it’d only be about a dozen people; essentially just the immediate family and wedding party.

      I never considered what we would be wearing. Maybe we could make it a themed wedding or something. Our cats would be the ring bearers.

      You can totally design our cake, I think Bronwen would be okay with that. You can never go wrong with chocolate and alcohol with her.

  2. Why don’t you have a drop-dead pact?

    I had a by-the-time-we’re-old pact– we both gave up and married someone else too soon! Might still work if we both end up partnerless, say maybe, at 80.

    I think Bronwen would be THE zombie partner for a post-apocalypse world. Definite keeper. You should stay hunter-gatherers and look for mutants.

  3. Someone offered me a marriage pact before, I can’t remember if I accepted. The details of the terms are also very sketchy in my memory. Why do you have to be married anyway?

    • I have no idea…I guess it’s just a way of ensure that neither of us ends up alone. Who says two people can’t be happy if they both settle on each other. :D

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