Pacts

Bronwen and I agreed to a mar­riage pact, where we would mar­ry each oth­er if we weren’t in a rela­tion­ship by a cer­tain age. The thing is, she’s six years younger than me, so we decid­ed that her expi­ra­tion date is 35, and mine 41, because it’s eas­i­er for men to date/marry than women, at an old­er age.

Note how I didn’t say “easy”. Heaven knows I had a hard enough time with dat­ing in my teens. And twen­ties. And prob­a­bly 30s.

According to her, we also have a sui­cide pact, even though I have no rec­ol­lec­tion of this. The only rea­son I can think of agree­ing to that is if large parts of the world were destroyed by mete­ors, lead­ing to the col­lapse of the eco­nom­ic sys­tem, cre­at­ing anar­chy, and reduc­ing every­one to hunter-gatherers.

Bronwen and I are most cer­tain­ly not hunter-gath­er­ers, and we’d prob­a­bly suf­fer unbear­ably just try­ing to sur­vive, or be killed soon after because we’re too naive or com­pas­sion­ate for a dog-eat-dog world. The thing is, if that hap­pened I’d try to join forces with Pat and Jen, because they always have every­thing togeth­er1. So maybe if they were also killed by this cos­mic hail­storm, then it would still be an option.

  1. Pat’s the one who believes that at least one per­son should be in con­trol in every group at all times, and that he is this per­son. The only time he was ever ine­bri­at­ed was for his bach­e­lor par­ty. []

5 comments

  1. this is hilarious!

    Did you plan the wed­ding already? What would you wear? Can I design your cake?

    • I’m pret­ty sure that both of us would want a small wed­ding, where it’d only be about a dozen peo­ple; essen­tial­ly just the imme­di­ate fam­i­ly and wed­ding party.

      I nev­er con­sid­ered what we would be wear­ing. Maybe we could make it a themed wed­ding or some­thing. Our cats would be the ring bearers.

      You can total­ly design our cake, I think Bronwen would be okay with that. You can nev­er go wrong with choco­late and alco­hol with her.

  2. Why don’t you have a drop-dead pact? 

    I had a by-the-time-we’re-old pact– we both gave up and mar­ried some­one else too soon! Might still work if we both end up part­ner­less, say maybe, at 80. 

    I think Bronwen would be THE zom­bie part­ner for a post-apoc­a­lypse world. Definite keep­er. You should stay hunter-gath­er­ers and look for mutants.

  3. Someone offered me a mar­riage pact before, I can’t remem­ber if I accept­ed. The details of the terms are also very sketchy in my mem­o­ry. Why do you have to be mar­ried anyway?

    • I have no idea…I guess it’s just a way of ensure that nei­ther of us ends up alone. Who says two peo­ple can’t be hap­py if they both set­tle on each oth­er. :D

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