Secrets aren’t so bad
We’re too young to feel safe
I don’t deserve all this now
Don’t want to feel I’ve made mistakes
I want to tell you everything
I want to tell you everything
But if I tell you everything
What we can build won’t mean a thing
—Secret’s Aren’t So Bad, Magneta Lane
There’s this thing, this sexual thing I like. I mean really like. It’s not exactly deviant, but certainly something that some girls may find gross or unappealing.
Even though it’s such a big deal to me, I never told any of my girlfriends about it. Only one of them liked it, and even she didn’t know how important it was to me, because it was something she wanted from me.
I know most of my girlfriends would have probably indulged me (at least once in a while) if I told them, but I never did. Not because it’s embarrassing, but because I never wanted any of them to feel obliged or pressured into doing it. I always think that one day, I’ll tell the right person because she’ll ask me what I like, and she’ll do it for me because she loves me. None of them have, yet, maybe because it’s never gotten boring in the bedroom.
So for now, it remains this little secret I keep, because secrets aren’t so bad. They can be little gems that bring people closer together. So why reveal them all so soon?
the holding off is special. but what if you really like, once expressed and explored opens a new horizon of what you like even better and more richly. you wouldn’t have known unless you made that leap.
I agree that sharing may open up even more avenues of exploration, but I’m not saying that one should hold off forever. Just for a little while, to save things that may mean even more in the long run.
Oh THAT THING! That thing that all the guys like but pretend they don’t or don’t say anything about until later in a relationship… ;P
Somehow I don’t think you know what I’m talking about. I think it’s a little more…uncommon than most sexual preferences or tastes.
Now I’m even MORE curious!
Ok ok.… Is it something done to you, or that you do, or both?
Hahah…none of the above. But I can think of a ton of weird fetishes that are none of the above, like wanting someone to pretend to be a toddler, or have a full bladder.
What really tickles our sexual fancy is often strange to a casual observer, much less a new sexual partner, and sometimes you can prematurely end a promising relationship by suggesting that a stick of rock candy would fit nicely into …
But I don’t want to be like Winston Churchill who replied in a slightly different sexual context “Rum and buggery, my good man, rum and buggery!“when asked what was keeping the British fleet going despite the odds against them in the early years of WW II.
For those who like to be challenged and stimulated, some of the songs and videos of the band Tool have been quite visually and musically eloquent [in a creepy kind of way] on the subject of “how the pieces fit”.
I shouldn’t have read this comment at work! I had to make something up to explain the laughter to those around me. How very true that being too open with secrets may also have the opposite of the intended effect.
The term “buggery” never clicked in until I read it in that context. Until now, I had always assumed it was just another mild British curse, like “bollocks”.
It’s funny you should mention Tool, as they used to be my favourite band between 1994–2001, back when their sound was a little less “progressive”. My favourite song of theirs was Stinkfist, which uses sexual overstimulation and numbness as metaphor for pushing the boundaries in our lives.
Jeff you say: “My favourite song of theirs was Stinkfist, which uses sexual overstimulation and numbness as metaphor for pushing the boundaries in our lives.”
Given the nature of various forms of “sex magic” or sexual activity as a method for breaking down one’s perception of oneself as well as the world the song may not be a metaphor (you see this in some Taoist traditions, in “left hand” tantra, some esoteric orders like the OTO, etc.). Danny Carey is well versed in Aleister Crowley’s methods so it wouldn’t surprise me if it was less metaphor and more literal.
I’m not sure if Freud would approve of me paraphrasing his famous “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar…” along the lines of “Sometimes a stinkfist is just a stinkfist.”
In any case, from reading his work, I suspect that Aleister Crowley seems to have been fond of both his tool and metaphor. ;-)
Yeah, as it’s pointed out above, the name of the song is “stinkfist”. Hard to get more literal than that!
Others have suggested two different aspects of the same thing. You’ve not said. You tease, you.
And I won’t say. I have to leave something up to the imagination.
LOL yes, thankfully.
Only one person has ever asked me what I liked, so it’s not much of a secret as it is never having an opportunity to tell anyone.
That being said only two people know my sexual secret. One because she shares the same taste, the other because we’re taking it slow and it’s on a level where you have to give it all or none at all.
Sometimes you have to keep things like this a secret. After all, you won’t want to scare the crap out of people too soon rather than keep the magic, that is, if it is the scary kind of secret which in my case, it would be.
Woah. I suspect your tastes are even more esoteric than mine. There are so many sexual tastes out there though, including ones that risk death (as David Carradine has found out) do you really think yours would be scary?
Mine’s frankly uninteresting to most, and not at all disturbing. Just.… different.
Fortunately I have had one person (in the past) that met all my interests with 100% fulfillment or I would have felt unrequited for life.
I wonder how many posts we’ll get out of this topic; seems to make a lot of questions…