Remember this one, or even this one?
I wrote those entries four years ago1. Amazing how much they apply to the situation I’m in now. Except this time, I’m stronger because I know that I survived this once already. It’s sad that at the end, all my efforts turned into an attempt at making sure I wouldn’t regret anything by giving more of myself than I should have. Because when all that you’ve given makes no difference, and you have nothing left, you know for sure that there’s nothing else you can do. You can always say that you took the chance, and it doesn’t matter if you get hurt in the end, because often you can’t separate the two.
That’s the price you pay to look back without any regrets. That’s the price of moving on.
And I always pay it gladly.
- It’s quite a trip to see that I was mature or smart enough to figure this out back then. [↩]
makes sense. a person is finite. relationship is negotiation. you put out what you can and another does too. sometimes it flies. sometimes it doesn’t at this time. rail or accept or re-bargain, no one has absolute control over another or self or what will happen. a some point it’s que sera. regrets just waste energy. I find it hard to cap my regrets but it’s a matter of habit as well I suppose.
so far as your twitter, I write something out until it is out of the way too.
How boring would life be if we did have absolute control over everyone and everything. Means it’s as important to learn to let go as it is to try our best.
For some reason reading these 2 old blogs of yours keeps making me think of the last blog I wrote. I think they are different sides of the same coin somehow.
I get that feeling too. Like we’re going through the same thing from different perspectives.