Few people in my family seem to understand my art.
When they look at my pictures, they make comments about the quality, or whether or not they’re smiling, or ask how much money I make. It’s never about the meaning, or my intent, or what I’m trying to express. Only one of them saw what I was going for in composing this photo of my grandma and aunt with the poster in the background.
They also talk through my videos when watching them, when every bit of pacing is important, missing significant establishing shots.
Maybe it’s the culture. Very few Chinese kids are allowed to be artists, as it’s seen as too risky or impractical. My generation of family seems to be full of accountants, and engineers, programmers, or anything else with security. Even though piano or violin lessons are common (I can’t think of a single Chinese friend who didn’t take piano lessons at one point), it’s more of a status symbol to be able say that you can afford the private lessons and instrument.
This is probably why I feel like I don’t relate or can’t speak to most of my family. When they don’t understand my art, they don’t understand me.
When I did my first martial arts show in the mid-90s, I was astounded by how rude the largely Chinese audience seemed to my western eyes as they talked, ate and argued in loud voices throughout most of the performances. I was told by Chinese colleagues that the audience was actually quite well-behaved since there were a lot of “white devils” in the audience.
I suppose watching art films is also seen as much as an opportunity for socializing as it is an occasion for admiring the performer or artist.
Perhaps art serves a different purpose in the Chinese culture, or the ritual of attending a performance offered a rare opportunity to see certain people. It’s so much unlike Western audiences. The strange thing is that the audiences are (generally) quiet when I go to a movie in Hong Kong. Maybe my art just isn’t engaging or entertaining enough!
It’s tough being the first generation to grow up here and not really relate. I had some guy from China message me once asking me how I write for a living, being Chinese and all. He then made the comment about how my parents must be pissed (thankfully my parents understand art). It’s funny how people see the world and I don’t blame them. In their situation survival meant that you became an engineer. Being a starving artist meant that you would actually starve.
I totally relate to the starving artist lifestyle. My job is to support my artistic endevours, but I’m not sure that if I stopped working and went for it full-time, whether I’d be successful enough to pay my mortgage and feed myself.
Some things:
1) Another Chinese artist would probably understand you. So would any white artist.
2) Even great Chinese opera troupes are used to performing before people who eat and talk and yell out HOOOOAAAAAHH!! at the good parts of their solos; it’s accepted.
3) My parents were the same as yours, completely clueless. Chinese parents don’t have the market cornered on being philistines. They suggested I learn to type.
4) I tried to show my Chinese almost-a-mother-in-law once my San Francisco Opera theater work, thinking that she’d be pleased I was working on something with some fame involved. Nope. That kind of work was always done by the lowest poorest artists in China. Nothing status about it at all to her. Bombed again.
5) My (female) sculpture teacher who is well established and makes huge steel structures that go in public plazas said that even into her 50s, her parents would still call her up with “Nu!, Djah make any money?” as the opener on the call.
Some valid points, #4 especially I can relate to. It’s as if nothing is good enough, although this is probably because the measure of success is so different between generations. To one it’s money, to the other it’s satisfaction.
Oh man… now I feel like an idiot. I’m not sure I know the meaning of the grandma-aunt picture.… (I cry).
Now I’m over thinking it and trying to come up with something but my brain feels so pressured.
I might have a couple of clues but I don’t wanna be wrong. So you tell me the answer first.
The picture doesn’t have a very deep meaning; it was a shot I framed against the Armani advertisement where my grandma and aunt stood with their postures the same as the poses of the child models. The look on my grandma’s face is sort of naughty, and it looks like she’s too proud to kiss my aunt the way the girl is doing to the boy in the ad. It’s a perfect display of the relationship they have now, where it’s my aunt being the dominant one, taking care of my grandma, captured precisely in this moment.
I don’t know if it’s a chinese thing or not, but I do know it’s an Asian thing. I don’t know any middle class Malaysian at least who hasn’t had a music lesson at some point. Piano has always been the favourite, mine happened to be the Violin (which I hated and didn’t appreciate until later on in life).
What about after-school tuition? All for that better grades than every one else, or at least keep up with them. I used to think that most Asian parents did that because they want the best out of their kids, then I realised a lot of them want to show off their kids. In Hokkien dialect, we call it a “kiasu” culture, which is often satired in jokes as people who want to look better than other, common among everyone in Malaysia and Singapore.
It’s a matter of image. I never got that. I never agreed with that. It’s one of those things that rub me the wrong way with my parents. At least, they gave me a choice to be whatever I wanted to be, even though I’ve always loved science.
Ah, I had no idea that it extended to other Asian cultures. I had after-school tuition as well, with a fleet of tutors on various subjects. I can relate to the idea of parents wanting to “show off” their kids all too well, as I went through the exact same thing during family gatherings. My parents half-decided what I was going to do. At first, it was computer science, which they were fine with, but when I wanted to switch to psychology, they wouldn’t let me.
Jeff, don’t feel sad that your family members don’t understand your art. My family members don’t understand my science either.
I guess the older generation doesn’t quite understand what we (the younger generation) do because they never had THAT much choice. Who would have thought, many years ago, that in the future, there would be people saving turtles from extinction?! :)
Quite interesting that your family doesn’t understand something that may be considered the opposite of art. Perhaps it’s not what we do, but how much money we make (i.e. stability) that’s the important thing to them. Now that I think about it, my family doesn’t care about the ideas of computer science or engineering.
I think most Chinese parents’ concern is the security rather than the status symbol. If you’re a world class concert pianist who makes millions, chances are they won’t mind. But they know that that’s extremely unlikely. The older generation came from a much poorer world, survival is the no. 1 thing, if not the only thing, on their minds. Everything else is just luxury to them.
The other thing is, most of them consider getting their children to take musical lessons to be about grooming, discipline and gentility.
I suppose that if you come from a childhood with less food and opportunity, your priorities shift. It makes sense if you continue living in this culture, but not when you’re raised in a completely different one.
Enrolling your kid in music lessons always seemed like the idea of having kids to me. Just one of those things you did because everyone else was doing it, as if you were supposed to. I asked my parents why they had me, and this was their answer.
I am currently a starving artist (musician and writer). I actually didn’t have a day job for a full two years. I was very close to being able to make a decent living from the arts, but my business partners screwed me over and left me high and dry. I’m now thinking about filing bankruptcy. But, I don’t have any regrets. I’d rather let the creditors take everything I have than give up on my dreams. I’d rather go down swinging.
Not only that, but perhaps this difficulty would inspire you to do more. I don’t know about you, but I need to suffer to create. You may be able to channel this into something better. The good thing about certain types of art is that nowadays there’s little overhead for making a profit; once you have an instrument or a computer, you can write in your spare time and shop your materials around to be picked up by labels or publishers without any extra expenses.
Sometimes suffering will help me create, but I would hate to think that it is a prerequisite to create. Ultimately I want to live a happy life.… I’m just hoping I get a break soon.
Also, I’ve noticed friends tend to disappear when you start getting too much notoriety or success. Obviously jealous. But, it’s not my fault artists are full of shit and don’t actually create, but instead talk about creating.
By the way I am Asian as well and my parents don’t understand either.