A Change In Writing

There’s so much to say, and not enough time to write. It’s obvi­ous that I haven’t been stick­ing to any kind of post­ing sched­ule late­ly. The ben­e­fit is that I don’t feel the pres­sure of hav­ing to write some­thing every day, the draw­back being the fact that things I want to get down are often lost. When I do get a chance to write, it’s like I’m per­pet­u­al­ly writ­ing about thoughts, feel­ings, and events that are a month old.

Perhaps anoth­er evo­lu­tion in the way I write.

I used to write my thoughts quite often. Things I had to fig­ure out or get off my chest. Now, it’s most­ly things that hap­pen in my dai­ly life, and some­thing ran­dom here and there. It’s like I’m mov­ing beyond my con­fused ado­les­cence into some sort of reflec­tive dotage.

The entries from the first year were writ­ten with so much more fre­quen­cy — rough­ly three times a day. Then that changed to once a day, then every oth­er day. A few times, I tried to write less fre­quent­ly, with­out a set sched­ule, but that nev­er real­ly worked. The writ­ing itch was always there. At one point I took a month-long hia­tus.

Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m try­ing to say.

The thing I par­tic­u­lar­ly miss are the entries writ­ten late at night. Spilling my soul out in words, with the music, the sky, and the emp­ty streets guid­ing me. As tired as I would be (I swear, some­times it was the exhaus­tion that brought it out in me), I always went to bed after feel­ing sat­is­fied.

Now, I’m not sure what this all is.

5 comments

  1. Jeff,

    i guess thats the thing with writ­ing. There are times when you want to write the whole time, every free minute. You feel the need to express it all, to write down all these words, thoughts and feel­ings that you have inside at that par­tic­u­lar moment. And then there are times, when you feel inside blank, when you are not sat­is­fied with what you write, how you express. There are even times when you dont know what to write about. I am writ­ing screen­plays and my first nov­el and i know all these very well. But believe me, keep on writ­ing, walk through this moments and you will see there will be a new ener­gy for writ­ing com­ing up.

    And one thing you are right about, is the won­der­ful feel­ing to write in the night, when the streets are emp­ty, every­thing is quite, the only sound of your music and all your thoughts com­ing through.

    Dont give up writ­ing

    Greetings from Germany
    Joern

  2. Thanks Joern. I nev­er believed that I’d give up writ­ing, but that it’d just be some­thing I did­n’t feel like doing any­more. Who knows if that’ll ever hap­pen though; inspi­ra­tion nev­er ceas­es.

  3. I think it’s viral. it’s going around a lot of the blogs I read, mine includ­ed. I sup­pose it’s a nat­ur­al devel­op­ment as you say. There’s been pent up stuff. When the pres­sure is released, the steam comes out less intense­ly.

  4. This could be a good sign, in a way. You may have sort­ed out many of the con­fu­sions. I feel that you have learnt to shrug off remarks you don’t nec­es­sar­i­ly agree with, as opposed to react­ing intense­ly, and I think that’s a sign of self-con­fi­dence too.

  5. @Pearl — Maybe it’s a sea­son­al thing; I know a lot of blog­gers go through their on and off times, usu­al­ly depend­ing on how nice the weath­er is. There’s much inspi­ra­tion to be had (or lost) from the atmos­phere.

    @Uncle Joe — I haven’t real­ly noticed that I’m shrug­ging off remarks I don’t agree with. I won­der if it’s due to con­fi­dence as you say, or due to a lack of patience, or some­thing else I haven’t fig­ured out yet.

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