Issues In Others

After going through ther­a­py, I’ve start­ed to rec­og­nize com­plex­es and issues in oth­er peo­ple.

Some put their hope in some­one, then hurt them. Some only fall in love with peo­ple they can’t have, and as soon as inter­est is rec­i­p­ro­cat­ed, they lose the attrac­tion. Strong signs of emo­tion­al depri­va­tion, stem­ming from trau­mat­ic rela­tion­ships. (Unfortunately, I’ve been the cause on more than one occa­sion, and it was my own issues that lead to this destruc­tive behav­iour where I did­n’t treat a heart as del­i­cate­ly as I should have.)

Most peo­ple aren’t aware of their issues, but I’m always baf­fled by the ones who are aware and still don’t do any­thing about it. They repeat­ed­ly make the same mis­takes over and over again.

I’ve always believed that self-improve­ment is the high­est form of liv­ing, and I’ve been able to work through my own bag­gage, so I refuse to accept those who don’t work through their own.


  1. The thing that real­ly starts to scare you is when you start to read peo­ple before you actu­al­ly get to know them as a per­son. Their man­ner­isms, actions reflect­ing upon sub­con­scious traits that make them the peo­ple you even­tu­al­ly know.

    The awful thing is that you know you can’t say any­thing to them because they will either deny that’s why they are or treat you as a crazy thing.

    I get what you mean though. I’ve gone through a lot to become the per­son that I am. I refuse to believe that peo­ple can’t go beyond what they think are their lim­its to achieve what they want as well. At the very least try.

  2. I don’t think I’ve quite reached that lev­el of under­stand­ing yet, but I can def­i­nite­ly imag­ine how it can be scary. Of course, there are always those one-dimen­sion­al peo­ple one may meet, who with­in the first five min­utes of talk­ing to them you know exact­ly who they are.

    There are some peo­ple to whom I’ve become close and I’ve only been able to “diag­nose” their issues after ther­a­py, and yes, it’s extreme­ly frus­trat­ing to not be able to tell them because they don’t rec­og­nize their prob­lems. Even rec­og­niz­ing com­plex­es in movie char­ac­ters is frus­trat­ing, cause you want to help them but real­ize it’s only fic­tion!

    I think it’s an effort to change and improve that’s most sig­nif­i­cant. We’ve tried so hard to get to where we are now. I have no sym­pa­thy for peo­ple who don’t even try (yet are aware of their prob­lems). Just get­ting angry at those who hurt us is both fruit­less and idi­ot­ic.

  3. um, to state the less obvi­ous per­haps, it would­n’t be an “issue” if it went away instant­ly with or with­out recog­ni­tion. if a per­son “doing something”…or not or enough…bit hard to say what process is going on behind the scenes of the brain.

  4. Harsh…but I under­stand exact­ly where you are com­ing from. They will sap the life right out of you.

  5. @Pearl — You’re right, it’s dif­fi­cult to tell how much aware­ness some­one has. Definitely a judg­ment call, as in many oth­er things in life.

    @Lucy — I don’t see it as harsh, I see it as fair. I only hold oth­ers to the same stan­dards to which I hold myself. Anything more would be hyp­o­crit­i­cal.

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