Feeling Particularly Single

Not nec­es­sar­i­ly lone­ly, but sin­gle.

Maybe it’s because I got accus­tomed to liv­ing with some­one. Coming home to anoth­er per­son in the house. Going to bed with a warm body next to me.

My cud­dle bud­dy has decid­ed that she’s off-lim­its1. I haven’t made out with any­one, let alone had sex, in months.

Dry spells are fun­ny things.

During my last one, I was too stoned to even think about dat­ing. The one before that was more of a chal­lenge.

Being sober and sin­gle isn’t quite the way I remem­ber it.

Sometimes peo­ple tell me they want to “intro­duce” me to some­one, but I’m always antsy about hurt­ing mutu­al friends or acquain­tances.

One per­son even gave me the card of a girl they thought was “per­fect” for me, whom she met while get­ting a mort­gage approved at the bank. “Perfect in what way?”, I asked. “Every way”, she said, “Gentle, polite, petite”. For months after­ward, she would ask if I called this per­son, and give me a dis­ap­point­ed look every time I said no, like a moth­er find­ing out that her son has­n’t borne her any grand­chil­dren. I wish I could meet this girl, just to see what some­one else believes I’m look­ing for.

My friends, who are in seri­ous rela­tion­ships or mar­ried now, talk about being sin­gle as if it was akin to their hous­es burn­ing down. They’ve been in their rela­tion­ships for so long that the idea has become for­eign to them. “I’m too old to date”, they say, “Trying to find some­one new, won­der­ing if they like you, fig­ur­ing out if you’re compatible..I could­n’t start over again”.

I always laugh, and think, “Then where does that leave me?”.

  1. I hope it was­n’t because she thought I was lead­ing her on []


  1. I can’t remem­ber how I’ve found you, but your site design has me com­ing back for the actu­al writ­ing… which …

    I have to read more.

    I’m glad I’ve book­marked you. Once I’m done read­ing all your archives, I think I will add you to my blogroll.

  2. Its the hunt my man you ether love it or sick of it there is no mid­dle there are the men who see set­tle­ing down as a relief at last the hunt is over with and there are thows that love the hunt and see mar­rage as the end of a god­ly game of cat and mouse and avoid the the girls who would men­tion the dred­ed M word like .….…dare i say it .….yes .…like somone come­ing at them with a vile of horse sea­men

  3. PS
    the moth and spi­der thing is soooo fun­ny me and mell laughed 4 like 10 min

  4. @Maeko — Thanks! Sometimes I read through my archives and think to myself, “My god, how dif­fer­ent I was” or “I can’t believe I wrote that”. I get embar­rassed by what I’ve said, on occa­sion, but I sup­pose it’s all part of the grow­ing process.

    @Rob — Hahahah…I’m half-and-half. Part of me does feel like there’s a lot fun in the hunt, but anoth­er part of me thinks it’d be nice to set­tle down. I guess I need to fig­ure out what I want for myself.

    And I still haven’t seen any traces of the spi­der or the moth yet. I’m stay­ing away from the walls (from which insects launch their attacks).

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