Feeling Particularly Single

Not necessarily lonely, but single.

Maybe it’s because I got accustomed to living with someone. Coming home to another person in the house. Going to bed with a warm body next to me.

My cuddle buddy has decided that she’s off-limits1. I haven’t made out with anyone, let alone had sex, in months.

Dry spells are funny things.

During my last one, I was too stoned to even think about dating. The one before that was more of a challenge.

Being sober and single isn’t quite the way I remember it.

Sometimes people tell me they want to “introduce” me to someone, but I’m always antsy about hurting mutual friends or acquaintances.

One person even gave me the card of a girl they thought was “perfect” for me, whom she met while getting a mortgage approved at the bank. “Perfect in what way?”, I asked. “Every way”, she said, “Gentle, polite, petite”. For months afterward, she would ask if I called this person, and give me a disappointed look every time I said no, like a mother finding out that her son hasn’t borne her any grandchildren. I wish I could meet this girl, just to see what someone else believes I’m looking for.

My friends, who are in serious relationships or married now, talk about being single as if it was akin to their houses burning down. They’ve been in their relationships for so long that the idea has become foreign to them. “I’m too old to date”, they say, “Trying to find someone new, wondering if they like you, figuring out if you’re compatible..I couldn’t start over again”.

I always laugh, and think, “Then where does that leave me?”.

  1. I hope it wasn’t because she thought I was leading her on []

4 comments

  1. I can’t remember how I’ve found you, but your site design has me coming back for the actual writing… which …

    I have to read more.

    I’m glad I’ve bookmarked you. Once I’m done reading all your archives, I think I will add you to my blogroll.

  2. Its the hunt my man you ether love it or sick of it there is no middle there are the men who see settleing down as a relief at last the hunt is over with and there are thows that love the hunt and see marrage as the end of a godly game of cat and mouse and avoid the the girls who would mention the dreded M word like ……..dare i say it …..yes ….like somone comeing at them with a vile of horse seamen

  3. PS
    the moth and spider thing is soooo funny me and mell laughed 4 like 10 min

  4. @Maeko — Thanks! Sometimes I read through my archives and think to myself, “My god, how different I was” or “I can’t believe I wrote that”. I get embarrassed by what I’ve said, on occasion, but I suppose it’s all part of the growing process.

    @Rob — Hahahah…I’m half-and-half. Part of me does feel like there’s a lot fun in the hunt, but another part of me thinks it’d be nice to settle down. I guess I need to figure out what I want for myself.

    And I still haven’t seen any traces of the spider or the moth yet. I’m staying away from the walls (from which insects launch their attacks).

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