A Test Of Love

So I delet­ed your num­bers off my speed dial. I took down your pic­tures. It was an in-the-moment thing.

I’m calm now, see­ing things objec­tive­ly, yet still unde­cid­ed.

Part of me wants to believe we can still be friends. That we can still hang out with­out me depend­ing on you for any­thing. But I’m not like that, and I don’t stay friends with those on whom I can’t depend.

I put aside my issues for my friends, and I need­ed you to do the same for me.

I cried, not only because you weren’t there when I need­ed you, not only because you had a respon­si­bil­i­ty to my friends as well, but because I nev­er allow those who hurt me so much to be a part of my life. Our friend­ship may be lost, and this is what upsets me the most. Perhaps it hurts so much because you were so impor­tant to me. I don’t want to lose that, but I’ll nev­er for­get what you did and I’ll nev­er trust you again.

And if I can for­give you, you’ll know that I tru­ly love you.

3 comments

  1. jeff man i wana talk to you about all this maybe were the world cant see or hear when my osap comes in i wana hit ott i remem­ber i owe u a din­ner thow that may be a strech from now so msn me when ur on hope­ful­ly im be here

  2. Thanks for the offer to talk, Rob. There’s been an out­pour­ing of sup­port from peo­ple that took me by sur­prise. As a result, I don’t feel so alone on this and it’s very com­fort­ing, not to men­tion that it helped me calm down.

  3. I can only offer you my unthought, blurt­ed response to your writ­ing, an empa­heth­ic: OW!. Ow ow ow. I so know how this goes, dude, real­ly.

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