Rob's Bachelor Party Weekend

Thumbnail: Aaron
Thumbnail: Aaron
Thumbnail: Jeff

As far as bach­e­lor par­ties go, Rob’s was a low-key deal. Seven of us in all. Half were from out of town, so we drove to Kingston to meet up.

Thumbnail: Lincoln Town Car
Thumbnail: Lincoln Logo

The first stop was Aaron’s dad’s house. Parked in his dri­ve­way was a 1980s Lincoln Continental Town Car, before they start­ed to down­size the series. It’s a mas­sive car, with what looks like a com­plete couch in the back. As the coupe, it was­n’t even the full-size mod­el. This is the only car that pimps teal.

Most of the day was spent giv­ing each oth­er welts in speed­ball, which I learned is a testos­terone fused ver­sion of paint­ball. All speed and all accu­ra­cy. I was­n’t used to a lack of con­ven­tion­al cov­er (in favour of inflat­a­bles), or the small play­ing area, but man­aged to sur­vive with­out any body hits.

Of course, being his bach­e­lor par­ty week­end, we had to put Rob on his own team, though he did­n’t quite find out until it hap­pened. This fol­lows the tra­di­tion of oth­er frat­er­niz­ing cel­e­bra­tions, such as birth­day beats.

It was back to the hotel to get changed, and off to Rob’s favourite place to eat, which was a Chinese buf­fet. It also hap­pened to be Chinese New Year, so they had an entire roast suck­ling pig, though no one else dared to try it until I assured them it was safe.

More time was spent back at the hotel, in the hot tub, play­ing pok­er pok­er, break­ing elec­tric heaters in the exer­cise room.

Before leav­ing the next morn­ing, we went across the street to the con­ve­nient­ly placed Golden Griddle, an all-you-can-eat break­fast buf­fet for the glut­to­nous mass­es. I’ve nev­er been one to get their mon­ey’s worth out of buf­fets, but I’m sure that Rob and Aaron more than made up for my rel­a­tive­ly small por­tion. I can’t imag­ine putting such lead into my stom­ach every week­end. Unlimited bacon and sausages should be reserved for bach­e­lor par­ties, busi­ness con­tracts, and maybe the occa­sion­al bris.

Drinking was lim­it­ed; Rob was still recov­er­ing from strep throat, as can be heard in the videos. More ener­gy was spent mak­ing sure Sergio had a suc­cess­ful blind date; a tes­ta­ment to how much Rob takes care of his homies.


  1. i thought it was a require­ment of all bach­e­lor par­ties that there be a strip bar involved.

    hhh­m­mm… maybe it’s a cana­di­an thing.

  2. So that’s the kind of stuff men talk about when women aren’t around. :)

  3. @ACG — Not for the guys that I know. The two bach­e­lor par­ties I’m plan­ning will have no strip­pers involved.

    And it’s not a Canadian thing. Windsor, Ontario sup­pos­ed­ly has the high­est num­ber of strip clubs per capi­ta in the world.

    @Angela — Yep, bacon dis­cus­sions are pret­ty stan­dard fare for us. Hope you weren’t expect­ing any­thing more enlight­en­ing. :)

  4. Every bach­e­lor par­ty except for Rob’s and my own have involved strip­pers. I think when all your friends get mar­ried (4 wed­dings last year, 6 the year before) and you go to the same strip club in town, it gets tir­ing and bor­ing.

    Also, it’s so cliché to go to a strip club. I’d much rather chill with my close friends and spend our mon­ey on drinks and good food than some stranger, that I’d find hot­ter in a sweater and jeans, con­stant­ly try­ing to make every­one feel bad that they’re not spend­ing more mon­ey. But per­haps it’s just an Ottawa thing. :P

  5. One of my friends explained his reac­tion to strip clubs as: ‘You think you’ll have a good time, and then you see this girl who looks decid­ed­ly human and all her human parts, and gee, she looks kind of cold, isn’t she cold? and you won­der how the heck she makes any mon­ey, and you start to envi­sion what her apart­ment looks like, and then you just.… get up and walk out.’ That cracked me up.

  6. @Aaron — There would­n’t be any strip clubs involved at my bach­e­lor par­ty either. There’s just no inter­est in it. I think girls look bet­ter clothed any­way. It gives them a per­son­al­i­ty, whether it’s classy, prep­py, sassy, indie…you get the idea. It’s turtle­necks over sweaters for me though. ;)

    @Xibee — You friend is very con­sid­er­ate. I bet libidos take over that instinct for a lot of males. I have to think that she makes the most mon­ey from strip­ping though. By walk­ing out, he’s prob­a­bly not sup­port­ing her, in a sense.

  7. That looks like an awe­some bach­e­lor par­ty you had with your mates. I hope you had a great time as paint­ball is a great way to cel­e­brate!

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