Yearly Archives: 2004

Death From Above 1979

I have to say more about DFA 1979’s debut LP. I’m amazed that two young guys from Canada could come up with an album that’s as funky, loud, raw, and devel­oped as this. They aren’t the White Stripes, as some have trag­i­cal­ly com­pared. What’s the dif­fer­ence? DFA 1979 does­n’t have shit­ty vocals, shit­ty drums, or shit­ty songs (although they also don’t have a mod­er­ate­ly cute female drum­mer). THEY DON’T EVEN PLAY THE SAME INSTRUMENTS. A BASS IS NOT THE SAME AS A GUITAR YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. WHAT THE HELL WAS YOUR BASIS OF COMPARISON? THE NUMBER OF MEMBERS IN THE BAND? LET’S JUST COMPARE NIRVANA TO THE BRAD MEHLDAU TRIO CAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE THREE MEMBERS.

Anyway.

Listening to Romantic Rights can make any­one feel like a mil­lion bucks just walk­ing down the street. I know I do.

Cool Water

I tried on Cool Water by Davidoff yes­ter­day. It smelled great on the sam­ple card with its dis­tinct­ly refresh­ing scent, but had the unfor­tu­nate effect of turn­ing into an odor rem­i­nis­cent of paradichloroben­zene as I learned in chem­istry, or what is com­mon­ly referred to as “uri­nal cake”, when applied to my skin. It was an effort to not mic­turate on my wrists for the rest of the day.

Durex Performax

Prolongs plea­sure with cli­max con­trol lubri­cant.

  • Contains heat acti­vat­ed cli­max con­trol lubri­cant on the inside and silky-smooth lubri­cant on the out­side
  • Fitted shape for easy-on and great feel
  • Low latex scent
  • WARNING: Premature ejac­u­la­tion may be due to a con­di­tion requir­ing med­ical super­vi­sion

I won­der what the tar­get mar­ket is. Men who can’t seem to last longer than eight sec­onds, or sen­si­tive guys who just want to be bet­ter lovers for their woman? I’ve been led to believe that they’re for men who don’t enjoy hav­ing any feel­ings in their cock after sex. (I apol­o­gize for the use of the word cock in the last sen­tence. My entries have been com­ment­ed as being strong­ly penile, which both­ers some women. The word itself makes some women uncom­fort­able. Penis.)

They remind me of this trip to the den­tist I had when I was young, and had been a bad boy for let­ting a cav­i­ty devel­op. Before clean­ing the site and cement­ing the fill­ing, my den­tist stuck me with three nee­dles of local anes­thet­ic. 15 min­utes lat­er, he came back and start­ed to work sore, ful­ly sen­sa­tion­al, mouth. I left his office, and short­ly after I got home, my mouth went com­plete­ly numb and I sthart­ed to taalk liyke thith.