With change comes the need for control.
And with emotions running through me in an almost uncontainable, effusive manner, that need for control has never been more necessary.
Usually, this comes easily. It feels as if I’ve been training my whole life for such a thing, that I’ve spent most of my time working towards becoming a cerebral person. Except that in the past, it’s was to edulcorate the pain.
Now, it’s to control the happiness. The almost ineffable feeling of euphoria.
Sometimes, I can barely contain the surge of emotion, and I have to stop myself from acting out, to keep my mind in check. I refuse to be one who acts out of emotion. I refuse to be one who’s at the whim of whatever mood I’m in.
I will be stronger than that which has become so important to me. I will be in control of that which I’ve sought so long to have.
Because balance is more important than happiness.