Dzhanechka

I feel worth­less.

She hugged him tight round the neck, her arms trem­bling, as though she was try­ing to pass her soul to him with that kiss. No, it was right and prop­er she should die!

I find that I’m begin­ning to com­pare myself with oth­ers, in order that I feel bet­ter about myself. I keep telling myself that I have no debt, no ail­ments, and bare­ly any respon­si­bil­i­ties. I’m a uni­ver­si­ty grad­u­ate, I live in a great city in a com­fort­able apart­ment, I’ve final­ly fall­en into a great bunch of stand-up friends. Why does it feel as though I have noth­ing, that I’ve accom­plished noth­ing, that my life is noth­ing? That in my near­ly 23 years of life, I have noth­ing to show for it but a few fris­sons and a life or two affect­ed.

If only I was being too hard on myself.

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