Making The Best

I went out to cel­e­brate St. Patty’s day with Aaron, Wheaties, Trolley, and Nick. I had such a great time, that I can’t even begin to explain. There were so many enter­tain­ing parts to the night that I would­n’t be able to recall half of them. We did some drink­ing at Aaron’s place before going out, and the pub we even­tu­al­ly went to near­by was dead. The ser­vice was ter­ri­ble, the atmos­phere actu­al­ly worked in a neg­a­tive way, with a ter­ri­ble DJ and drunk­en bums, and the beer was­n’t even a rich shade of green, more of a pale watery colour. A good time was still had though, one of the best times of my life.

At one point, Trolley was chas­ing Aaron and I down a hill, with Nick in an aban­doned shop­ping cart being pushed in front of him.

I came upon a sort of epiphany though, not only through the events of the night, but through the con­ver­sa­tions we had. Everything made me real­ize how sim­ple my life has cur­rent­ly become, how I live for noth­ing but my friends, and a bit of hope.

If I was to die tomor­row, I would have no regrets, about any­thing in my life at all. I haven’t worked very hard to get where I am now, which includes a very com­fort­able lifestyle. I have been very lucky. I’ve been able to relax, and take things easy, and still go through high school and uni­ver­si­ty with­out being held back for fail­ing cours­es. I enjoy what I’m doing, I think I’ll enjoy where the present is tak­ing me. But if my life were to end, then so be it.

I won­der if any­one would find this mor­bid if they found out. It seems like I’ve accept­ed my death already, although there’s always the pos­si­bil­i­ty of a death scare cre­at­ing an urgent sense of alacrity in me. I can’t real­ly see that hap­pen­ing though. Sometimes sui­cide does­n’t sound that bad. There’s just no rea­son to live or die, so I accept what I’m giv­en, and make the best of it.

Perhaps this is the answer, as well as the mean­ing.

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