I went out to celebrate St. Patty’s day with Aaron, Wheaties, Trolley, and Nick. I had such a great time, that I can’t even begin to explain. There were so many entertaining parts to the night that I wouldn’t be able to recall half of them. We did some drinking at Aaron’s place before going out, and the pub we eventually went to nearby was dead. The service was terrible, the atmosphere actually worked in a negative way, with a terrible DJ and drunken bums, and the beer wasn’t even a rich shade of green, more of a pale watery colour. A good time was still had though, one of the best times of my life.
At one point, Trolley was chasing Aaron and I down a hill, with Nick in an abandoned shopping cart being pushed in front of him.
I came upon a sort of epiphany though, not only through the events of the night, but through the conversations we had. Everything made me realize how simple my life has currently become, how I live for nothing but my friends, and a bit of hope.
If I was to die tomorrow, I would have no regrets, about anything in my life at all. I haven’t worked very hard to get where I am now, which includes a very comfortable lifestyle. I have been very lucky. I’ve been able to relax, and take things easy, and still go through high school and university without being held back for failing courses. I enjoy what I’m doing, I think I’ll enjoy where the present is taking me. But if my life were to end, then so be it.
I wonder if anyone would find this morbid if they found out. It seems like I’ve accepted my death already, although there’s always the possibility of a death scare creating an urgent sense of alacrity in me. I can’t really see that happening though. Sometimes suicide doesn’t sound that bad. There’s just no reason to live or die, so I accept what I’m given, and make the best of it.
Perhaps this is the answer, as well as the meaning.