Posts in category "Random"

Mother I'd Like To Fool Around With

It seems like I’m run­ning into more and more attrac­tive, old­er women late­ly. By old­er, I mean old­er. Like Julianne Moore or Jodie Foster around-40-but-still-attrac­tive old­er.

I try to explain this to Trolley, and he gives me the squint­ed eyes look, as if he’s think­ing, “Forty? Did he just say forty? Maybe he meant four­teen. But that’s even worse! Where’s my beer?”

I think it just comes from the fact that these women are still phys­i­cal­ly attrac­tive at a stage in their lives that’s gen­er­al­ly not asso­ci­at­ed with that sort of thing. I can appre­ci­ate the fact that they keep in shape at their age, even after they’ve had kids. I sup­pose that it’s a bit of a cor­re­la­tion, that they’re will­ing to work on such things for their hus­bands, and that’s what stands out to me. Maybe I’m just sick of the girls I meet that are my age.

3 Minute Miracle

Know what’s scary? Leave-in hair treat­ment like Infusium 23. I bought some by mis­take cause I thought they only made con­di­tion­ers, so I reached for the wrong bot­tle. I think I’ve been pro­grammed to fear leav­ing in con­di­tion­er. Still, the leave-in treat­ment is fuck­ing good. The tips of my hair are usu­al­ly total­ly fried (I show­er right before I sleep and have major bed-head every morn­ing) but now they just seem so soft and man­age­able.

We Call Ourselves Chiggas

I went to buy some wrist­bands, because rule num­ber 3.4.4.1.2 of the 2004 ITTF Handbook basi­cal­ly states that peo­ple can only tow­el off once or twice a game. I look around for some Adidas wrist bands, since I usu­al­ly play in Adidas trunks, but unfor­tu­nate­ly, every place I look either has no Adidas wrist­bands, or they have the Adidas non-rac­quet-sport wrist­bands, the ones that are twice as long and con­strict the wrist. There was a set that was some brand I nev­er heard of, but it was half price and the logo looked like the skip but­ton on an MP3 play­er so I decid­ed to buy it any­way. Turns out that this brand is actu­al­ly Karl Kani, a brand name in urban fash­ion.

Let me back things up for a sec­ond here.

I’m pure Chinese by blood, raised in a neigh­bour­hood of sub­tle fam­i­lies who paid off their mort­gages, bought mini-vans to dri­ve all their kids to hock­ey prac­tice, and spent the week­ends plant­i­ng new sets of flow­ers in their gar­dens. I went to a high school for the sons of rich cou­ples and gov­ern­ment offi­cials. MY FREAKIN NAME IS JEFF. I’m prob­a­bly the last per­son who should be wear­ing “urban fash­ion”.

So yeah.

wut wut.