A few days ago, an elderly woman well past the age of retirement served me in a popular, modern tea shop, enthusiastically telling me to take my time in looking over the menu and deciding what I wanted to order. She would constantly thank me for the patronage, even before I ordered anything, and was probably more than twice the age of anyone else working there.
The culture here is very accepting of senior citizens. They have active jobs, and often walk around with their children and grandchildren instead of hiding in rest homes. This is partly due to the fact that living space is extremely expensive, so families end up living together for their entire lives. My eldest paternal uncle, his wife and daughter all currently live with my grandmother (in a roughly 1000 square foot apartment), and have been doing so for almost their entire lives. Generally it’s the parents that work, while the retired grandparents become the babysitters, the grocery shoppers, etc. Everyone is willing to be patient when waiting for a slow old lady to cross the street at an excruciating pace, or help any elderly with canes get on and off the buses. I caught some grandparents taking their grandchildren to school, and it reminded me of my maternal grandparents flying to Canada to take care of me when my parents were working on their careers and I had no school in the summer.
All the beggars here are elderly, unlike the younger ones back home. They can’t afford operations for their cataracts and have already lost their minds. These are people with barely enough strength to stay awake or shake their bowls, people who don’t ask for money to buy cigarettes or booze. It’s hard to look at because they remind me too much of my grandparents. I start to imagine them abandoned on the street, and wonder who could do such a thing.
When I was young, my maternal grandparents came to Canada from Hong Kong to look after me. It was summer and my parents were working while I was left at home. I had no friends, so much of my time was spent being entertained by my grandfather.
He was born and raised in China, and studied at one of the universities there after high school. Being able to attend university was quite an accomplishment back then, and he had only one year left before civil war broke out. He joined the ill-fated Nationalist side, where he would have had a chance to be a comissioned officer had there not been a need for English speaking Chinese people. He spoke English fluently, so he was used as a translator for the British troops. He recovered from a shot to the arm, and fled to Hong Kong to avoid prosecution when the war was over. There he met my grandmother, and assumed a career as a meteorologist.
I knew him as a large, but delicate man, who always took the time to explain things to me (something quite rare for a kid who’s only six or seven). I spent the warm summer days following him around, playing with him, learning from him. Eventually, he became my favourite person in the world, the first person I’ve ever looked up to.
On the day that my grandfather passed away, I was crushed. It was my first family death ever, and when my mother gave me the news, all I could think about was how I would never have him as my teacher again.
Eventually, I went to Hong Kong to take some time off from the North American world, and learn more about my family history. I stayed at my uncle’s house, the same house that my grandfather bought over 40 years ago. It was December, and Hong Kong winters are pleasantly brisk, so I stepped outside onto the balcony after waking up and getting dressed. There was an elderly man in white socks and black shoes holding a little girl wearing Mary Janes’ just below. The man, who bore a striking resemblance to my grandfather, was keeping his granddaughter company while she waited for the school bus to come. I liked how frail, yet tenacious, they looked, as if this weak old man would protect this little girl to the death. Seeing them sitting there, a patient man with a doll of a girl in his arms, reminded me of my grandfather, a strong and gentle man all at once.
And it made me happy to know that he was not the only one.