I did­n’t mean to talk about this so soon, but after con­tem­plat­ing this sub­ject for a while I feel as if I’ve done enough think­ing to prop­er­ly speak about it. I do feel like my mind is clear on this issue, that I’ve giv­en myself enough time to under­stand things well from as many aspects as pos­si­ble. This is some­thing that I had­n’t real­ly thought about in more than half a year, but more recent events have sort of spurred my mind on the sub­ject again.

Hah. It’s almost humourous, how imma­ture I seem back then to myself now, that it has­n’t even been an entire year and yet my mind­set has changed com­plete­ly in a total­ly dif­fer­ent direc­tion. I used to be so scared that I was indeli­bly affect­ed by a past expe­ri­ence, that I could nev­er change what I felt and thought. And yet I feel as if I see things much more clear­ly now. I feel less bur­dened, less biased, less neg­a­tive.

This does­n’t even have any­thing to do with hope or with chance, things which I dwelt on so much before. I’ve been able to see past these mat­ters, and free­dom from such things is great. Odd, that an expe­ri­ence that may have dam­aged or dis­cour­aged me has been able to resolve all my wor­ries.

And now, what has changed?

I’ve done what I thought I would nev­er do again.