I’m riding on so much momentum it feels like I’ll never come to a stop. This is a drastic change from only a short while ago, and I can attribute it mostly to the chances I’ve had to apply the lessons I’ve learned. Being able to prove to myself that I still have things to discover, that I’m still refining myself as a person, has left me feeling confident and humble lately.
Making peace with myself used to be a struggle. Now that I’m actually happy with who I am, I realize how low a bar that used to be. I’ve been through stretches like this before though and they’ve never lasted, so I’m still approaching it all with cautious optimism. At least now I’m wise enough to know that happiness is something that needs to be worked at consistently, in the little ways, and I’m strong enough to keep it going.
Jon-Kabat Zinn has been helping me on this path too. I’ve been listening to a series of his mindful meditation exercises, and I carry a sense of calm through the day whenever I hear his voice. Every now and then he offers gentle advice on doing this kind of work, like how important it is to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling, and I’ve been discovering that so much of it has relevance in other parts of my life.